The Borker

For those of you who sometimes wonder what the Blond Borker looks like under his kit…
This is Angus Missouri Blue.
aka Gus / Gus Gus
The Blond Potato, Goose, Baby Dog.
He is a thirteen year old Red Wheaten Cairn Terrier. His mother’s name was Dorothy. His father was Rooster Cogburn.
He is the best Potato ever.

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It’s been cool these past few days and overcast but it cleared up a bit for the Potato’s Bork this morning. He’s had a very eventful few days with lots of in and out of the house as well as shuffling around after people. His Auntie Suzhang went home (she gave him way too many treats of mackeral and other noms) and while she was here, there was much toddling about.
 
He went out this morning with a cheerful bounce to his step and came back to dance around the Roomba as it did its duty along the living room floor.
 
The Potato actually didn’t bork a lot when he left the house and from the sounds of things, had a REALLY good toddle around the neighbourhood. The ramp I got him for up against the sliding glass door (which is a four and a half inch drop from the living room to the back patio) is doing its job and he’s taken to it without a blink. It’s really helped him coming up and down that drop. It’s a sharp drop and probably strained his back and hips… or so I imagine. He seems to be doing well with it.
 
Goji Kitten has decided Gus just doesn’t exist while Harley is still in love with him and waits for him to get treats so he’s gotta sit still for a few minutes and she can rub up against him. Which is then followed by us telling her not to bite his ass.
 
There is something seriously wrong with that cat.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus looked so happy today! He was rolling around in all the grass and had a huge smile on his face! There was barely anyone out so he was calm for the most part.
 
Best,
Jessica

Tuesday’s Borking Report with the Blond Potato!

Hello and welcome to today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
I am working from home today following having a procedure done yesterday that  kind of tossed me into the ring of… OH FUCKING GOD THIS SUCKS / HURTS so home working for a precaution. Sometimes, the body does odd things.
 
BUT this meant I could be home for the Borker to head out and man, he was so ready to go. Andi got him ready because bending over for me isn’t a thing just yet and when he came back, I was on the phone with the mechanic because the Firebird is having sympathy injuries and wants attention so his Auntie Jessica got him de-kitted and he romped about with her for a bit.
 
Going out for socialization and borking is doing the Potato a huge good. There’s a slower pace and he’s coming back still full of energy and just so freaking happy. Bounces in, gets undressed, cavorts, gets water, gets belly rubs from his Auntie and then crashes for his mid-morning nap. I’ll be running the Roomba in a bit and since he’s in his bed, it can toddle about without bumping into him.
 
It seems to hone in on his butt. No reason why. Just does.
 
The cats are all either sleeping or eating. Badger will probably return to his roost in a bit but Harley is on her tower. I must have picked up at least 20 cat toys. Seriously, what the hell? Goji still eats like she’s unhinging her jaw and having to swallow her prey whole. I think that’s just gonna be her thing. Badger eats the same way. They get food everywhere.
 
As you can see, The Potato’s got some sass on him today.
 
From Gus’ Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of rolling around in the grass and borking today! There were a lot of people outside their houses today so we did our best to keep our distance. We kept the walk nice and slow and just to the corner. See him soon!!
 
Best,
Jessica

Blond Potato! (Sung to the Tune of My Sharon) Today’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
The Blond Potato has had TWO great Borking Days. It really helps starting earlier when it’s cooler and probably with less people out. Of course, he’s usually more awake at 8 am than he is at 10 am. By 10 am, he’s settled into a full nap and is off snoring.
Yesterday was a BIG day for him as well because his Auntie Suzhang has come for a week long visit AND he got a puppichino. And smuggled treats but not a lot because Potatoes do not need extra chubbage.
In place at the sliding glass door is now a 4 inch tall, short ramp for him to use to get back up into the house. That small ledge is at an awkward angle and much like an old school bus, a Potato does not bend in the middle. It’s been a tremendous help and he’s been gamboling in and out with great ease.
Also, the song My Sharona can TOTALLY be adapted for Blond Potatoes while they are rolling around on sun-warmed concrete. With a chorus of “Blond Potato….” you can make your own verses. To be fair, I also sing “They see me rollin’, they be hatin’…” at him when he cavorts about too.
The boy does love a good roll….
Look at his sassy self during his Bork. Because he got a good roll in!
From his Auntie Jessica:
It was nice and cool out today and Gus loved it! He especially loved all the damp grass to roll in! We walked to the corner again and kept it slow paced.
Best,
Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
We didn’t have any Borks last week as we acclimated the house to Gojira’s introduction and Gus wasn’t quite walk-ready this morning. It’s kind of warm so we’ll be moving the Borking Times up a bit to take advantage of the cooler hours. Of course he was like… I don’t wanna walk on the sidewalk, I just wanna roll around on the grass… and when he came home, he trundled around the house in his normal cool down and pretty much walked around more than he did outside.
 
Because he’s not stupid and he knows his Auntie Jessica will stay and scritch him for a long time when he comes back. So he gets belly rubs and scritches instead of going for exercise. It’s a fine balance of getting a walk in and manipulation for the old Potato.
 
Gojira kitteh made a guest appearance to sniff at Auntie Jessica before going to hunt down Brother Badger… who she’s been chasing around the house. Badger has discovered he might be getting a bit too old for prolonged shenanigans because he plays for an hour or so then goes to hunt down a sunny spot to bask and nap in. Gojira is not impressed by his stamina. Although she does take the hint and goes to find a napping spot herself.
 
Gus the Potato is already crashed in front of the screen door and dreaming of dinner or whatever it is Blond Potatoes dream of when they come back from Borkings.
 
We’ll be changing his joint supplements tonight because I don’t feel the ones he’s been getting have helped as much as the ones he used to get (and were discontinued). Still, he’s never been a run run run dog but he does get bursts of speed when he wants to. He just really would prefer to roll around in the wet grass and come home to get belly rubs. Like I said, he’s not a stupid Potato.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus is so cute in his jersey! Go Cubs! He was struggling a bit today but we still got a good walk in. I hope he gets lots of rest!
 
Best,
Jessica
 

Gojira Kitteh

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

It’s an overcast day over here in Potato Land. About 65ºF (18ºC) but it doesn’t look like it’s going to rain. I see a hint of blue skies off in the distance but it’s a grey blue so there’s still a sheen of clouds over the hills. The rain would have been nice BUT we all know how much the Potato likes to roll around in wet grass and come back stained green and with leaves stuck to him.

I’d like to NOT give him a bath today.

There’s apparently a lot of workers out today. There IS some major construction and reno being done on a lot of houses in the neighbourhood and the one thing his Auntie Jessica has been firm about is people coming up to the Potato to pet him “because he’s cute”.

BUT as we all know, when outside on a Bork, the Blond Potato is there for business. There is no stopping to talk to people. No shenanigans other than finding a wet lawn and borking at people to wear masks, stay 6 feet apart, and most of all, get off the damned roof before you kill yourself (even if you ARE a roofer). He’s also disgruntled about lawn guys with dangerous machines like chain saws and mowers. He’s quite quick to judge their safety standards like some outraged OSHA supervisor.

He came home tired and happy, having scolded the world back into order… then promptly went scuba diving into his copper bowl, shook off a waterfall of drops onto the carpet, me, and his Auntie Jessica (and a bit on Badger) then proceeded to cavort and wiggle about. Now he’s taking a bit of a rest but is contemplating eating the small amount of kibble he left behind for his breakfast. Kibble eating is a very intense stalking and must be approached thoughtful and with great reflection. One does not simply shove one’s head into the food dish. It is food, after all…and not water.

From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of borking at all the workers out this morning! He got very tired after that walk! I hope he’s getting plenty of water and rest now.
Best, Jessica

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It’s a chilly day here in San Diego and the Potato had to be kitted up in some fleece to go out. Also it rained. As you all know the Borker, he LOVES a damp, muddy lawn and his borking route is FULL of them. A fleece is very necessary during rainy days or the Potato will come home covered in grass, wet leaves and mud.
 
He waited very patiently for his Auntie Jessica to arrive and then told her all about his week in a waddling grumble as he headed to the door. He really is an old Scottish man. I should get him a tartan fleece but I’d probably have to get one custom made to fit his blocky form. Although I have found a few dog clothes places that make good Monster Cairn clothes.
 
Gus Gus is a utlitarian type of dog. Not really fussy. Likes a nice piece of bacon and a bit of dried potato. Belly rubs and scritches are good as well. And a good ramble. He does so love his Borking Rambles. We’re going to Mon and Thurs to give him time to rest between and upping his play a bit thru the week. We want the Potato to be healthy and happy for as long as we can have him.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved the nice and cool weather today! He did a lot of borking and rolling around in the damp grass. See him next week. Hope he gets plenty of rest!

It’s Wednesday, My Dudes and A Borking Report

I’ve been trying to reboot my brain by doing some home art. Basically I’ve got a kind of blank wall now and I’m doing a take on hanafuda cards. Almost done but… there’s this thing when you wonder if you’re going to like it and if you can stand looking at shit you’ve made. Art is… subjective and even more so when it’s your own. I hate what I art more than what I write and as most authors can tell you, we loathe our wording. Or at least the sane ones do.
It’s a thing 😀 But I shall get this done and we’ll see if I like or love it.
And Today’s WEDNESDAY SPECIAL BORKING REPORT!
So it was storming hard this morning and it was a bit of touch and go if the Borking Potato was going to be able to go out but the sun came out just in time for him to take a good trot around the block. He was kitted up when his Auntie came by… dressed in his full raincoat regalia because knowing him, he was going to pounce on every puddle he saw.
And he did.
As well as drinking from the puddles because he’s a dorkwad.
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved rolling around in all the wet grass! It stopped raining perfectly for our walk and the sun was out! I’m sure Gus loved the cold air.
Best, Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
Today was apparently the best day ever because Gus the Blond Potato was out the door and living large as soon as his feet hit the sidewalk. It was a power walk day where he ran his Auntie ragged with how fast of a pace he set up. It’s hard to remember to pull him back and temper his borking trot but he’s an old man. He’ll be feeling that near-run pace he loves in a few hours after he comes home.
 
And of course he went head down into the water, cavorted and then got scritches from his Aunt Jessica as soon as he came home. He’s been in a cavorting kind of mood. Right now, his eyes have been cleaned, he’s gotten his allergy treats and he’s stalking his dinner… a fine mix of grain-free, high-protein kibble topped with a beef stew.
 
And later, there will be a sweet potato snack. And much snoring.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of borking today! So many people out! I’m sure he will be very tired today. See him soon!
 
Best,
Jessica

A Monday BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

The Potato was very happy this morning to see his Auntie Jessica. Yesterday he had a long car trip and then came home to naps and snuggles. This morning, he was kitted out and all ready to go.

He’s actually doing well for an old Pupper. That’s one thing I have to watch out for because the Gus Gus will be 13 in April and that’s a long time for a cairn. He’s definitely a solid little pupper and getting him to do anything with a toy never goes far so his exercise pretty much is walking around and wrestling. He is more than happy to go with you in and out of the house. That never gets old in the Potato’s world. But I do have to get some kind of step / ramp thing for the back door since it’s a bit of a drop and the hop up can sometimes be a strain. Usually when it’s cold.

But today is warm and he came into the house with a lot of grassy bits on him… because someone obviously mowed the lawn and he found it. Nothing like wet grass and cavorting for this dog. He’s a silly thing.

He has a mobile groomer coming on Thursday and hopefully he’ll behave for them. We’ll see. He apparently decided to poop again today on his walk. The world is getting crazy out there. He’s very relaxed now. But still, borking at the lawn guys because that’s what a Potato does.

From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of rolling around in the grass today. He looked so happy! He had a lot to say to all the neighbors too!
Best, Jessica