Today’s BORKING REPORT

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
This is going to be a quick one because I’m busy AF but I did wanna share the Potato’s bork.
 
He was kind of tired this morning which makes sense because he went to bed hella late (like I did) and then his bladder woke him up at 5:30 am so he trundled out of bed to bork at me to get up and let him out. Which of course I did because it was time to get up anyway. He has different borks for things and if you know him for like a minute, you can hear the difference but you need to speak Potato to understand what he’s asking.
 
He also likes to disguise his begging bork by using his I want to go outside whine (which is different from his I Need Your Attention Bork). But that’s a different kettle of fish.
 
His Attention Please bork is usually used for when it’s very early and he needs to go potty because the Potato does NOT potty in the house. Ever. Unless he’s very sick and cannot help it and even then, it will be on tile and he will hate himself for hours. It is a very rare occurance and he’d gotten a bug, which is normal sometimes. Vet checked him out and he was okay but I spent days reassuring him he’d not shamed his people.
 
The Attention Please bork is also used when there is a certain grey and white cat in his bed and he wants to go lie down there. It’s a short, not unpleasant Bork that kind of sounds like Hey, Mom! Mom!… not to be confused with his Psycho Gonna Kill This Intruder bork for people cutting across his lawn or his Why Aren’t You In Here bork he gives to people he knows and delivery people he sees every day. You can hear the difference in those borks as well as catch his tail helicoptering with excitement because he thinks he’s going to get company.
 
Mind you, he can’t see well so it does take a hot second for him to go from… Alarm Warning short bork to… MY PERSON! but it’s pretty quick.
 
And that’s pretty much what he did today because he was so sleepy but it was Borking Day and he went through a range of emotions when his Auntie Jessica came in this morning.
 
He does so love her.
Gus was walking pretty fast today! We went to the corner and got back quickly. There was a little kid out that he really wanted to say hi to! I hope he’s staying nice and cool now!
 
Best,
Jessica

Tuesday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
Well this morning was fairly cool but right now, it’s a big muggy. Probably was cool enough for Gus to get dressed BUT he got a new harness and it was fitted on him nicely and he was READY TO GO!
 
His Thursday Bork was called off because his Auntie Jessica wasn’t feeling well so she couldn’t come over but today, she was here to see her Potato. I cannot express how happy he is to see her. Like a double dish of bacon happy. It’s cute. To be fair, he’s also very happy when he sees people he knows and they’ve come to visit him.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved the cold weather and all the wet grass! There were barely any people out so he was pretty good. We walked to the corner and back. See him soon!
 
Best,
Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT! 15 Jul 2021 with the Potato!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
Now I’m going to be working remotely for the next couple of weeks and even while I’m home, that’s usually the time when someone at work pings me for a call or troubleshooting an issue. Thankfully, Andi Van asked if I wanted them to continue to kit the Potato out on his Borking Days for which I am EXTREMELY grateful because kitting him up, working on something on the laptop and talking someone off the ledge at the same time is usually when his Auntie Jessica shows up. *grins*
 
Oh and of course, our internet provider deciding to do major construction in our area and knocking the internet out with no notice and no schedule. That involved a lot of swearing, rebooting, lost work, firing up the 3G Orange Dot which I have now ordered the 4G Orange Dot to upgrade because the 3G one can’t handle the data transfers I need.
 
But all of that has NOTHING to do with the Potato… who has been SUCH a good boy.
 
It hasn’t been cool enough to dress him in a shirt but it’s summertime and damn, the eye drops for his allergies are doing wonders for him. I do have to shave down the hair around them but it’s so much better than it used to be. I am hoping we have a handle on them so he feels better. The Borker still doesn’t LIKE getting his face messed with but with the medication, comes cookies. Which are actually allergy supplements but they reek like fish and duck and he loves them.
 
Today’s Bork apparently went well and he was raring to go and then raring to come back. He got fussed over a lot and scuba-ed his water bowl for a bit then cavorted heavily. And promptly crashed out in the air-conditioned living room. He was also grubby as fucking hell and definitely needs a bath.
 
APPARENTLY, he pooped on someone’s driveway! Which is… rude in a lot of ways but something totally a mad Scottish Cairn would do. I wonder if they pissed him off. Jessica took care of it but sheesh, I thought I taught him better than that.
 
He does so love his Auntie Jessica. Actually he loves all of his Aunties and is such a dork. Gus Gus is the best Potato.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus walked fast today! He did poop on our walk right in someone’s driveway. I tried cleaning it up the best I could. He did roll around in the dirt a bit and got a little dirty. He looked like he was having fun though!
 
Best,
Jessica

Thursday Borking Report!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
The Borking Potato went borking while I’m at work but as always he woke up with me at way too early in the morning to go potty before I left for work. It was a quick shuffle in and out for him because it was a bit chilly and there was apparently more sleeping to do. He usually waits until he hears me tell Alexa to turn off all lights before fecking off to the back of the house bed but this morning it was all… yeah, I’ve pissed, see yourself out.
 
There has been a definite uptick in his happy. Going earlier in the day and spending time with his fave Auntie two mornings a week gives the Goose a very happy smile. He apparently has taken to coming into the house and rolling or inchworming his way into the room. Because he’s silly. He does that when he’s happy, that rolling about. Then he goes scuba diving in the water bowl, coming out with a drenched face.
 
Cavorting, belly rubs and happy wiggling soon follows. Then a nap. Today was no different. 😀
 
From his Auntie Jessica…
 
Gus did a lot of borking this morning! There were a few people out walking so he had a lot to say. He kind of made it back inside! He was slowly rolling his way through the front door.
 
Best,
Jessica

The Borker

For those of you who sometimes wonder what the Blond Borker looks like under his kit…
This is Angus Missouri Blue.
aka Gus / Gus Gus
The Blond Potato, Goose, Baby Dog.
He is a thirteen year old Red Wheaten Cairn Terrier. His mother’s name was Dorothy. His father was Rooster Cogburn.
He is the best Potato ever.

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It’s been cool these past few days and overcast but it cleared up a bit for the Potato’s Bork this morning. He’s had a very eventful few days with lots of in and out of the house as well as shuffling around after people. His Auntie Suzhang went home (she gave him way too many treats of mackeral and other noms) and while she was here, there was much toddling about.
 
He went out this morning with a cheerful bounce to his step and came back to dance around the Roomba as it did its duty along the living room floor.
 
The Potato actually didn’t bork a lot when he left the house and from the sounds of things, had a REALLY good toddle around the neighbourhood. The ramp I got him for up against the sliding glass door (which is a four and a half inch drop from the living room to the back patio) is doing its job and he’s taken to it without a blink. It’s really helped him coming up and down that drop. It’s a sharp drop and probably strained his back and hips… or so I imagine. He seems to be doing well with it.
 
Goji Kitten has decided Gus just doesn’t exist while Harley is still in love with him and waits for him to get treats so he’s gotta sit still for a few minutes and she can rub up against him. Which is then followed by us telling her not to bite his ass.
 
There is something seriously wrong with that cat.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus looked so happy today! He was rolling around in all the grass and had a huge smile on his face! There was barely anyone out so he was calm for the most part.
 
Best,
Jessica

Tuesday’s Borking Report with the Blond Potato!

Hello and welcome to today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
I am working from home today following having a procedure done yesterday that  kind of tossed me into the ring of… OH FUCKING GOD THIS SUCKS / HURTS so home working for a precaution. Sometimes, the body does odd things.
 
BUT this meant I could be home for the Borker to head out and man, he was so ready to go. Andi got him ready because bending over for me isn’t a thing just yet and when he came back, I was on the phone with the mechanic because the Firebird is having sympathy injuries and wants attention so his Auntie Jessica got him de-kitted and he romped about with her for a bit.
 
Going out for socialization and borking is doing the Potato a huge good. There’s a slower pace and he’s coming back still full of energy and just so freaking happy. Bounces in, gets undressed, cavorts, gets water, gets belly rubs from his Auntie and then crashes for his mid-morning nap. I’ll be running the Roomba in a bit and since he’s in his bed, it can toddle about without bumping into him.
 
It seems to hone in on his butt. No reason why. Just does.
 
The cats are all either sleeping or eating. Badger will probably return to his roost in a bit but Harley is on her tower. I must have picked up at least 20 cat toys. Seriously, what the hell? Goji still eats like she’s unhinging her jaw and having to swallow her prey whole. I think that’s just gonna be her thing. Badger eats the same way. They get food everywhere.
 
As you can see, The Potato’s got some sass on him today.
 
From Gus’ Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of rolling around in the grass and borking today! There were a lot of people outside their houses today so we did our best to keep our distance. We kept the walk nice and slow and just to the corner. See him soon!!
 
Best,
Jessica

Blond Potato! (Sung to the Tune of My Sharon) Today’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
The Blond Potato has had TWO great Borking Days. It really helps starting earlier when it’s cooler and probably with less people out. Of course, he’s usually more awake at 8 am than he is at 10 am. By 10 am, he’s settled into a full nap and is off snoring.
Yesterday was a BIG day for him as well because his Auntie Suzhang has come for a week long visit AND he got a puppichino. And smuggled treats but not a lot because Potatoes do not need extra chubbage.
In place at the sliding glass door is now a 4 inch tall, short ramp for him to use to get back up into the house. That small ledge is at an awkward angle and much like an old school bus, a Potato does not bend in the middle. It’s been a tremendous help and he’s been gamboling in and out with great ease.
Also, the song My Sharona can TOTALLY be adapted for Blond Potatoes while they are rolling around on sun-warmed concrete. With a chorus of “Blond Potato….” you can make your own verses. To be fair, I also sing “They see me rollin’, they be hatin’…” at him when he cavorts about too.
The boy does love a good roll….
Look at his sassy self during his Bork. Because he got a good roll in!
From his Auntie Jessica:
It was nice and cool out today and Gus loved it! He especially loved all the damp grass to roll in! We walked to the corner again and kept it slow paced.
Best,
Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
We didn’t have any Borks last week as we acclimated the house to Gojira’s introduction and Gus wasn’t quite walk-ready this morning. It’s kind of warm so we’ll be moving the Borking Times up a bit to take advantage of the cooler hours. Of course he was like… I don’t wanna walk on the sidewalk, I just wanna roll around on the grass… and when he came home, he trundled around the house in his normal cool down and pretty much walked around more than he did outside.
 
Because he’s not stupid and he knows his Auntie Jessica will stay and scritch him for a long time when he comes back. So he gets belly rubs and scritches instead of going for exercise. It’s a fine balance of getting a walk in and manipulation for the old Potato.
 
Gojira kitteh made a guest appearance to sniff at Auntie Jessica before going to hunt down Brother Badger… who she’s been chasing around the house. Badger has discovered he might be getting a bit too old for prolonged shenanigans because he plays for an hour or so then goes to hunt down a sunny spot to bask and nap in. Gojira is not impressed by his stamina. Although she does take the hint and goes to find a napping spot herself.
 
Gus the Potato is already crashed in front of the screen door and dreaming of dinner or whatever it is Blond Potatoes dream of when they come back from Borkings.
 
We’ll be changing his joint supplements tonight because I don’t feel the ones he’s been getting have helped as much as the ones he used to get (and were discontinued). Still, he’s never been a run run run dog but he does get bursts of speed when he wants to. He just really would prefer to roll around in the wet grass and come home to get belly rubs. Like I said, he’s not a stupid Potato.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus is so cute in his jersey! Go Cubs! He was struggling a bit today but we still got a good walk in. I hope he gets lots of rest!
 
Best,
Jessica
 

Gojira Kitteh

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

It’s an overcast day over here in Potato Land. About 65ºF (18ºC) but it doesn’t look like it’s going to rain. I see a hint of blue skies off in the distance but it’s a grey blue so there’s still a sheen of clouds over the hills. The rain would have been nice BUT we all know how much the Potato likes to roll around in wet grass and come back stained green and with leaves stuck to him.

I’d like to NOT give him a bath today.

There’s apparently a lot of workers out today. There IS some major construction and reno being done on a lot of houses in the neighbourhood and the one thing his Auntie Jessica has been firm about is people coming up to the Potato to pet him “because he’s cute”.

BUT as we all know, when outside on a Bork, the Blond Potato is there for business. There is no stopping to talk to people. No shenanigans other than finding a wet lawn and borking at people to wear masks, stay 6 feet apart, and most of all, get off the damned roof before you kill yourself (even if you ARE a roofer). He’s also disgruntled about lawn guys with dangerous machines like chain saws and mowers. He’s quite quick to judge their safety standards like some outraged OSHA supervisor.

He came home tired and happy, having scolded the world back into order… then promptly went scuba diving into his copper bowl, shook off a waterfall of drops onto the carpet, me, and his Auntie Jessica (and a bit on Badger) then proceeded to cavort and wiggle about. Now he’s taking a bit of a rest but is contemplating eating the small amount of kibble he left behind for his breakfast. Kibble eating is a very intense stalking and must be approached thoughtful and with great reflection. One does not simply shove one’s head into the food dish. It is food, after all…and not water.

From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of borking at all the workers out this morning! He got very tired after that walk! I hope he’s getting plenty of water and rest now.
Best, Jessica