Today’s Borking Report or… The Snorkling Potato.

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
He left the house today telling Jessica ALL of his woes which now are going to include a bath because he needs a good scrubbing with medicated soap so… he’ll do more borking once that’s done.
 
Once again, the Potato was delighted to see his Auntie Jessica and when he came back, he snorkled his way around the living room floor. He stopped long enough for me to get his muzzle off and one snap of his harness. And then he shimmied away like a snake and Jessica got the rest of his harness but the jersey stayed on until he made a full circuit of the living room carpet and Andi could snag the jersey off.
 
Seriously, he’s a pain in the ass but oh so happy.
 
We have workers at the house next door so he had a lot to bork at. He has opinions about them taking down a tree and whatever else they’re doing so early in the morning. OPINIONS!
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
There were a lot of workers out this morning. Gus seemed to do okay considering! He did a lot of rolling around in the grass and he looks so happy!
 
Best,
Jessica

End of August Borking Report!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
I actually was here for the pickup and drop off of the Gusman but left soon afterwards to have Kaz (my fantastic hair stylist) wrangle my hair into submission. It takes a long time to wrangle and I haven’t had it done in nearly two years. My appointment was at 10 am and I just got home… at 2:20 pm. I did stop for gas afterwards and gave Tengu a bath as well as Mickey D’s for some fries which were PROMPTLY begged for as soon as I came thru the door.
 
There is a reason why we call him the Potato and it isn’t just because he’s shaped like one. This dog can sniff out a French fry like pigs sniff out truffles. He whined at me so I thought he needed to go potty. I let him out then was barked at… scolded really… to tell me that no, outside is NOT what he wanted and there better be a fry in the house for him when he comes in.
 
I made him wait until I changed clothes and well, I was trying to straighten my bed linens because they were all bunched up on the corner only to find out Badger had built himself a burrow under the sheets and quilt. After he mewed his disgust at me bothering him while he napped, I covered him back up and went to the living room.
 
Where there was a Potato waiting for a French fry. He isn’t allowed a lot. Maybe one or two small ones but he just wants the taste. And no matter what he tells you or how sad his eyes get while you’re eating a taco or pizza, he is NOT allowed to have handfuls of people food. ONE OR TWO FRIES ONLY.
 
Apple without seeds is fine. So is watermelon. And honey peanut butter but only a little bit. He’s angry I cut off his French Fry supply so now he’s rage eating his dry food.
 
But he had a good Bork.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved rolling around in the wet grass! There was no one out walking but there were some dogs barking from their backyards. So Gus had to say hi! See him soon!
 
Best,
Jessica

August 23: BORKING REPORT

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
The Bork came early this week because Auntie Jessica’s schedule so the Borker was a bit stubborn about getting his kit on but once we got him dressed… and he was done being a deadweight Potato in the middle of the living room floor, he was happy.
 
It’s cool enough for him to have something on when he goes out. I do this for a few reasons… one, he does have allergies and two, the little bastard LOVE rolling in wet and dirty grass. He shouldn’t be that filthy but here we are. Last bath he was given, he left enough dirt in the tub I could have grown a batch of green onions.
 
But he came home, cavorted, got snuggled and then crashed… because BORKING is a hard job. He also had a VERY exciting and fun-filled weekend so it was simply an exhausting few days.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus looked so cute all dressed up today! There was no one out this morning so he was quiet for the most part. He did also go poop on the walk. He seemed tired from the weekend but I’ll see him soon!
 
Best,
Jessica

August 17 Borking Report!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It was actually overcast and cool this morning so the Borker was very comfortable when he headed out. I’m hoping this weather continues for a bit considering it was too hot for him to go out last week.
 
Even though the temp might be “doable” for a dog walk, the very pale sidewalks and black asphalt usually are not because they can get hot very fast. And oven-hot cement and roads means blistered paws. So, I try to be extremely careful about the Potato going on Borks during hot days.
 
He was very happy to see his Auntie Jessica today and when he came back, cavorted about and got a LOT of scritches. It’s hard work Borking to Protect the neighbourhood but today it seems like he accomplished all he set out to do.
 
Including sleep off his arduous morning.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
It was great to see Gus today! He actually did poop on the walk this morning too. He was barking like normal in the first half of the walk but he was actually pretty quiet on the way back!
 
Best,
Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
This is going to be a quick one because I’m busy AF but I did wanna share the Potato’s bork.
 
He was kind of tired this morning which makes sense because he went to bed hella late (like I did) and then his bladder woke him up at 5:30 am so he trundled out of bed to bork at me to get up and let him out. Which of course I did because it was time to get up anyway. He has different borks for things and if you know him for like a minute, you can hear the difference but you need to speak Potato to understand what he’s asking.
 
He also likes to disguise his begging bork by using his I want to go outside whine (which is different from his I Need Your Attention Bork). But that’s a different kettle of fish.
 
His Attention Please bork is usually used for when it’s very early and he needs to go potty because the Potato does NOT potty in the house. Ever. Unless he’s very sick and cannot help it and even then, it will be on tile and he will hate himself for hours. It is a very rare occurance and he’d gotten a bug, which is normal sometimes. Vet checked him out and he was okay but I spent days reassuring him he’d not shamed his people.
 
The Attention Please bork is also used when there is a certain grey and white cat in his bed and he wants to go lie down there. It’s a short, not unpleasant Bork that kind of sounds like Hey, Mom! Mom!… not to be confused with his Psycho Gonna Kill This Intruder bork for people cutting across his lawn or his Why Aren’t You In Here bork he gives to people he knows and delivery people he sees every day. You can hear the difference in those borks as well as catch his tail helicoptering with excitement because he thinks he’s going to get company.
 
Mind you, he can’t see well so it does take a hot second for him to go from… Alarm Warning short bork to… MY PERSON! but it’s pretty quick.
 
And that’s pretty much what he did today because he was so sleepy but it was Borking Day and he went through a range of emotions when his Auntie Jessica came in this morning.
 
He does so love her.
Gus was walking pretty fast today! We went to the corner and got back quickly. There was a little kid out that he really wanted to say hi to! I hope he’s staying nice and cool now!
 
Best,
Jessica

Tuesday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
Well this morning was fairly cool but right now, it’s a big muggy. Probably was cool enough for Gus to get dressed BUT he got a new harness and it was fitted on him nicely and he was READY TO GO!
 
His Thursday Bork was called off because his Auntie Jessica wasn’t feeling well so she couldn’t come over but today, she was here to see her Potato. I cannot express how happy he is to see her. Like a double dish of bacon happy. It’s cute. To be fair, he’s also very happy when he sees people he knows and they’ve come to visit him.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved the cold weather and all the wet grass! There were barely any people out so he was pretty good. We walked to the corner and back. See him soon!
 
Best,
Jessica

Today’s BORKING REPORT! 15 Jul 2021 with the Potato!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
Now I’m going to be working remotely for the next couple of weeks and even while I’m home, that’s usually the time when someone at work pings me for a call or troubleshooting an issue. Thankfully, Andi Van asked if I wanted them to continue to kit the Potato out on his Borking Days for which I am EXTREMELY grateful because kitting him up, working on something on the laptop and talking someone off the ledge at the same time is usually when his Auntie Jessica shows up. *grins*
 
Oh and of course, our internet provider deciding to do major construction in our area and knocking the internet out with no notice and no schedule. That involved a lot of swearing, rebooting, lost work, firing up the 3G Orange Dot which I have now ordered the 4G Orange Dot to upgrade because the 3G one can’t handle the data transfers I need.
 
But all of that has NOTHING to do with the Potato… who has been SUCH a good boy.
 
It hasn’t been cool enough to dress him in a shirt but it’s summertime and damn, the eye drops for his allergies are doing wonders for him. I do have to shave down the hair around them but it’s so much better than it used to be. I am hoping we have a handle on them so he feels better. The Borker still doesn’t LIKE getting his face messed with but with the medication, comes cookies. Which are actually allergy supplements but they reek like fish and duck and he loves them.
 
Today’s Bork apparently went well and he was raring to go and then raring to come back. He got fussed over a lot and scuba-ed his water bowl for a bit then cavorted heavily. And promptly crashed out in the air-conditioned living room. He was also grubby as fucking hell and definitely needs a bath.
 
APPARENTLY, he pooped on someone’s driveway! Which is… rude in a lot of ways but something totally a mad Scottish Cairn would do. I wonder if they pissed him off. Jessica took care of it but sheesh, I thought I taught him better than that.
 
He does so love his Auntie Jessica. Actually he loves all of his Aunties and is such a dork. Gus Gus is the best Potato.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus walked fast today! He did poop on our walk right in someone’s driveway. I tried cleaning it up the best I could. He did roll around in the dirt a bit and got a little dirty. He looked like he was having fun though!
 
Best,
Jessica

Thursday Borking Report!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
The Borking Potato went borking while I’m at work but as always he woke up with me at way too early in the morning to go potty before I left for work. It was a quick shuffle in and out for him because it was a bit chilly and there was apparently more sleeping to do. He usually waits until he hears me tell Alexa to turn off all lights before fecking off to the back of the house bed but this morning it was all… yeah, I’ve pissed, see yourself out.
 
There has been a definite uptick in his happy. Going earlier in the day and spending time with his fave Auntie two mornings a week gives the Goose a very happy smile. He apparently has taken to coming into the house and rolling or inchworming his way into the room. Because he’s silly. He does that when he’s happy, that rolling about. Then he goes scuba diving in the water bowl, coming out with a drenched face.
 
Cavorting, belly rubs and happy wiggling soon follows. Then a nap. Today was no different. 😀
 
From his Auntie Jessica…
 
Gus did a lot of borking this morning! There were a few people out walking so he had a lot to say. He kind of made it back inside! He was slowly rolling his way through the front door.
 
Best,
Jessica

The Borker

For those of you who sometimes wonder what the Blond Borker looks like under his kit…
This is Angus Missouri Blue.
aka Gus / Gus Gus
The Blond Potato, Goose, Baby Dog.
He is a thirteen year old Red Wheaten Cairn Terrier. His mother’s name was Dorothy. His father was Rooster Cogburn.
He is the best Potato ever.

Thursday’s BORKING REPORT!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It’s been cool these past few days and overcast but it cleared up a bit for the Potato’s Bork this morning. He’s had a very eventful few days with lots of in and out of the house as well as shuffling around after people. His Auntie Suzhang went home (she gave him way too many treats of mackeral and other noms) and while she was here, there was much toddling about.
 
He went out this morning with a cheerful bounce to his step and came back to dance around the Roomba as it did its duty along the living room floor.
 
The Potato actually didn’t bork a lot when he left the house and from the sounds of things, had a REALLY good toddle around the neighbourhood. The ramp I got him for up against the sliding glass door (which is a four and a half inch drop from the living room to the back patio) is doing its job and he’s taken to it without a blink. It’s really helped him coming up and down that drop. It’s a sharp drop and probably strained his back and hips… or so I imagine. He seems to be doing well with it.
 
Goji Kitten has decided Gus just doesn’t exist while Harley is still in love with him and waits for him to get treats so he’s gotta sit still for a few minutes and she can rub up against him. Which is then followed by us telling her not to bite his ass.
 
There is something seriously wrong with that cat.
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus looked so happy today! He was rolling around in all the grass and had a huge smile on his face! There was barely anyone out so he was calm for the most part.
 
Best,
Jessica