Being an Aspie… And Masking.

I am an Aspie… (Aspergers). I spend most of my energy and time masking. Masking is when you’re not neurotypical and fight to align your behaviours to “normal” to blend in. It takes a lot of effort and I’m exhausted by the end of a few hours. Sometimes I can’t even do it. Sometimes I’m okay. No one makes allowances for people who mask to survive society. We get this. We know there won’t be slack given. We’ve gone through that kind of thing since school. It’s easier to shunt aside someone on the spectrum who is struggling to learn masking and other coping mechanisms, especially in a crowd or school environment.
 
I’m sorry that it has to be that way but that’s the way it is. It doesn’t mean spectrum-typical people aren’t assholes, manipulative or any of that. We’re human. The first thing we do as babies is learn that crying manipulates our environment and can even learn to lie-cry to be picked up. It’s our first humaning skill.
 
But there’s no one who “teaches” you how to mask successfully. You just have to try your best and learn how to manage the energy depletion. We’re not introverts per se (although some are), mostly we’re trying to mirror the people around us and fit in because we know we don’t. Trust me. We KNOW. We FEEL wrong. We don’t FIT into the lines around us. What we do when we mask is try to keep our colouring inside of the lines, and those colours are actually ourselves.

I am not Dead. :D Just forgetful….

I swear to God I updated the blog last week but apparently I did not. Dear Lord.

Not a lot really has gone on. The house is slowly coming into grips with itself and I’ve got a nice writing nook built up in my room. If you are on Facebook, you might want to consider joining my group (there are questions to make sure you are not a bot so please respond to them to be accepted in). I am having an Ask Me Anything on Saturday. Well two of them to be exact.

Here’s the link to the group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/635660536617002/

It’s Rhys Ford’s Coffee, Cats, and Murder. Can’t miss it.

There will be prizes and I will try to answer as many questions as I can or just hang out with people. And give away things. International readers are very much welcome to join. I post globally because that’s only fair. If the Post Office can get stuff to you, I shall send it. There’s also going to be virtual prizes as well so… join if you please!

Today is the Potato’s 13th birthday! He got a bath yesterday because he was out playing in the water from the garden hose then decided afterwards he would roll in the dirt and grass… so he was a filthy mess. Right now, he’s spending his morning snoring away. So is Harley. I don’t know where Badger is but probably on my bed.

Or plotting world domination. One never knows with him.

But that’s my update. I will leave you with this…

I love George. He is awesome. But man, this burger can give you a heart attack. Proceed with caution.

Covid Shot and Some News….

Got the Pfzier shot… well the first one this week and all in all, it’s going okay except for the aching muscles and headache. I’ll get the second in a few weeks and then I’ll.. still be wearing a mask in public until everyone gets their shot and the numbers go down. Because that’s the responsible thing to do.

Now… I DO have some news regarding audiobooks.

Kale Williams will be doing ‘Nother Sip of Gin and also taking over the 415 Ink series. Schedules and pandemic and a whole slew of things just were working against getting Tristan back in but after much debate and consideration, I knew Kale was the only one I could hear bring it home. I’ve heard the first story in the anthology as well as a bit of snippets of the Morgans and I can say Kale has delivered. And I am quite proud of him for stepping up and very pleased and humbled he chose to do so.

I HAVE taken a bit of a hiatus from writing in order to steady myself. I’ve lost the love of writing for nearly half a year what with everything going on at home and my sister, Jenn’s passing. I spent a few weeks arting and feel ready to crash back in.

With all of that being said, I think I’m ready to announce the next thing to come off my keyboard as a Connor and Forest short novel. It is yet untitled but as you know, we’ll be looking for a booze reference so save up all your puns. We’ll be going in for a shot or two after this is all said and done.

After that I owe Luke, the next Chinatown Demons, Murder 3, McGinnis 2, and Beast… oh and Kai. So, I’m hoping I am centred and ready to word.

As always, I am grateful for your support and you being here. I hope to be worthy of your trust and company.

 

Today is BORKING REPORT Day!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!

It’s rainy and cold out today but there was a brief spat of sunshine that coincided with the Potato’s borking trot today. He was geared up and well…while I wanted the Blond Potato to go out because he really needed a good Bork, I should get him a black harness if I’m going to dress him because the orange one clashes with his blue fleece coat or I could get a coat that’s more colour appropriate to the harness. He looked like a mad Portuguese auntie dressed him.

He came home happy and panting and then after a brief snorkel in the water dish… and I do mean snorkel because he goes ears deep into the water, he came for scritches and love to both me and Auntie Jessica. He then said goodbye to her after she tested out the new living room chair to make sure it was more comfortable than the other one (it’ll need a bit of breaking in). Following his farewells, he began his post-walk cavort in his bed (video included) and now is snoring off in pupper-land for a well-deserved nap.

It’s really hard being a Potato. His life is just one whirlwind of activity after even followed by napping.

And then snackies. And belly rubs.

From his Aunt Jessica:
It was nice and cool out for Gus this morning. He had so much fun rolling around in the grass! He was pretty calm too since there weren’t many people out!
Best, Jessica

Bread and Butter Pickles… and Words

Right now I’m having a very late dinner of a faux shark cooterie board of butter crackers, salami, pepperoni, cheddar, colby jack, and bread and butter pickles. The pickles in question are Mt. Olive and come in a bag. The first time I encountered them was in the South at a highway stop and well, love at first bite. So… they’re a part of dinner tonight.

I don’t like pickles on sandwiches. Or relishes in my chicken / tuna / egg salad. Or any kind of salad actually. I do like relish on hot dogs. MMMMmmmmm Chicago dogs. But I do love a good pickle. But not chutney. Chutney and I have never truly made friends.

Now of course, kimchi counts as pickles so that’s a thing. But really pickled plums, pickled eggs, pickled pigs feet… all are okay. Dunno why. Must be the Portuguese influence. Lots of vinegar there. Or maybe the Japanese. Either way, pickled anything is good.

It’s going to storm like crazy tomorrow and we already had to postpone the Monday Borking Report because of high winds and rain. Hopefully it won’t be that way tomorrow because the Potato probably would like to go on at least one hard trot for this week. Even though he’s had a LOT of exercise going in and out of the house.

As well as borking at the lawn guys who came by Tuesday.

The house purge continues as I rearrange life. It’s an interesting exercise in figuring out what should be in my life and really how I fit into it. We’ll see what comes out on the other side.

The cats are adjusting to the upheaval well. Okay, to be fair, they really don’t give a shit because there’s food, sunbeams, and places to snooze. What more can they ask for? Oh… Badger needs to be walked a bit every day but you know, he’s weird.

If you want to try one of my favourite dishes, here’s the Foodland guy teaching how to cook pancit. Which is…. love love pancit. And with pata, dear God, it’s good. Easy to cook and the ingredients are pretty easy to get.

Oh… and I guess I actually better eat my dinner. Hope you all are doing okay. I’ll be rolling something out in a bit and I’m excited to bring that to you. Right now, I’m poking at the edges and working out a small social issue in the text that I’ve got to land right or it’ll come off…. meh. But that’s something I just want to get right.

Tell me what easily made dishes that you love… and even better, share with me a link to a recipe or video of it being made. I’m always up for a good new dish!

Final BORKING REPORT of 2020!

Today’s BORKING REPORT!
 
It was ungodly cold this morning and much borking at the Charity Pickup guy who was here to take some household goods, DVDs, and other things to the thrift shop for donations. Gus had opinions about that and was scolding fiercely until I told him to go to the back yard if he wanted to express his opinions.
 
Once he got that out of his system, he came in for a midmorning nap in his Living Room Camo Bed then got dressed when his Auntie Jessica texted that she was heading over.
 
Showed Andi Dude how to put on the Potato’s muzzle because there will come a time when I’m not here and he’ll need to go on his Bork.
 
The Blond Potato was VERY excited to go on his final walk of the year and was quite full of energy when he bounded out the door. And apparently continued to express his opinions and joy as he went along.
 
So from the Borker and us here in San Diego, have a Happy New Year and all the best in the coming 2021!
 
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus had so much energy today! He was so speedy! Hope he’s resting up now. Happy new year! See Gus next year 🙂 Best, Jessica

The Bound Blog Post Tour’s Final Stop! Today’s Stop: Love Bytes

Welcome to the Bound Blog Tour! As always, there’s a gift certificate giveaway at every stop so please be sure to enter. I’m talking about world-building in this alternate San Francisco where a snarly, ex-alcoholic Inspector finds himself entangled with an enigmatic Asian demon… while trying to discover who is leaving dead bodies all over his newly adopted city. International entries accepted for all giveaways!

Today’s stop on the tour is: Love Bytes

Keep up with all the stops:
Dec 3           Paranormal Romance Guild
Dec 4           Reading Reality
Dec 5           MM Goodbook
Dec 6           Boy Meets Boy
Dec 7           Love Bytes

Bound, Chinatown Demons, Book One

Chinatown, San Francisco.

A different place — another time— and where the city’s streets keep secrets, shadowy mysteries SFPD Inspector Spencer Ricci needs to dig through after he finds himself on a case involving a dismembered, mummified man in a restaurant’s locked storage room.

Spencer drags around a lot of baggage, including an ongoing battle with the bottle and a long career as an LAPD detective he’d set fire to in a blaze of booze-soaked mistakes. San Francisco is supposed to be a new start but his old ghosts haunt him, beckoning him back into his self-destructive bad habits. Bad habits that include contemplating doing dirty things with the wrong kind of guy and this time, it’s a sleek, cold-tempered medical examiner named Xian Carter with a complicated reputation.

For a century-old demon, Xian Carter is content with his secretive life. Hiding his nature from the mundane world, he blends in with the city’s inhabitants as best he can but even the best of predators make mistakes. Delving into the mysteries of the dead provide a welcome distraction from endless nights and hiding in plain sight amuses him, until something supernaturally wicked comes knocking on his door with an extremely hot, broody Inspector close behind.

Murder makes for strange bedfellows and this one is no exception. The twists and turns of the case leaves Xian and Spencer on a wild goose chase after clues but Xian can only hope there’s a human at the end of the trail—because the last thing San Francisco needs is another predator.

Purchase Bound at:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Bound-Chinatown-Demons-Book-One-ebook/dp/B08NFNLVKB/
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/bound-182
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bound-rhys-ford/1138366858?ean=2940163084210

And other online bookstores!

Coming Late November— Bound (Chinatown Demons, Book One) by Rhys Ford….

PPPPPSSSTTTT…. HOW ABOUT A COVER REVEAL?

Coming Late November 2020…. from Rhys Ford
And published by Rogue Firebird Press
AND a few short weeks later, grab the audiobook… narrated by Greg Tremblay.
Bound, Chinatown Demons, Book One
Chinatown, San Francisco.
A different place — another time— and where the city’s streets keep secrets, shadowy mysteries SFPD Inspector Spencer Ricci needs to dig through after he finds himself on a case involving a dismembered, mummified man in a restaurant’s locked storage room.
Spencer drags around a lot of baggage, including an ongoing battle with the bottle and a long career as an LAPD detective he’d set fire to in a blaze of booze-soaked mistakes. San Francisco is supposed to be a new start but his old ghosts haunt him, beckoning him back into his self-destructive bad habits. Bad habits that include contemplating doing dirty things with the wrong kind of guy and this time, it’s a sleek, cold-tempered medical examiner named Xian Carter with a complicated reputation.
For a century-old demon, Xian Carter is content with his secretive life. Hiding his nature from the mundane world, he blends in with the city’s inhabitants as best he can but even the best of predators make mistakes. Delving into the mysteries of the dead provide a welcome distraction from endless nights and hiding in plain sight amuses him, until something supernaturally wicked comes knocking on his door with an extremely hot, broody Inspector close behind.
Murder makes for strange bedfellows and this one is no exception. The twists and turns of the case leaves Xian and Spencer on a wild goose chase after clues but Xian can only hope there’s a human at the end of the trail—because the last thing San Francisco needs is another predator.
 
Bound, Chinatown Demons, Book One by Rhys Ford

Pretty Is As Pretty Does… Or What the Hell Am I? And Why?

I don’t talk a lot about gender. Or gender identity.

Lots of reasons for that. Most of which are I haven’t quite dug down deep enough into my own id. And if I’m going to be stripped-down, nekkid honest, I always flounder about who or what I am.

I am not by nature an “aggressive in your face, accept me as I am” person. For some reason, a lot of people assume that means I’m a pushover. Asperger’s does make me flighty and distracted and sometimes laser focused on the wrong things so my mouth and brain don’t stop running at full tilt and I don’t see any social speed bumps. Coupled with a cultural inclination to keep a polite public face, I’m usually fighting between what I’d like to say and what’s proper and well, Asian-nice.

Apparently this has led some people to believe I’m a pushover. I’ve had someone tell me in an interview once that they didn’t think I could do the job because people would run me over.

As anyone who knows me probably for more than five minutes, you’d know they are wrong. Continue reading “Pretty Is As Pretty Does… Or What the Hell Am I? And Why?”