Being an Aspie… And Masking.

I am an Aspie… (Aspergers). I spend most of my energy and time masking. Masking is when you’re not neurotypical and fight to align your behaviours to “normal” to blend in. It takes a lot of effort and I’m exhausted by the end of a few hours. Sometimes I can’t even do it. Sometimes I’m okay. No one makes allowances for people who mask to survive society. We get this. We know there won’t be slack given. We’ve gone through that kind of thing since school. It’s easier to shunt aside someone on the spectrum who is struggling to learn masking and other coping mechanisms, especially in a crowd or school environment.
I’m sorry that it has to be that way but that’s the way it is. It doesn’t mean spectrum-typical people aren’t assholes, manipulative or any of that. We’re human. The first thing we do as babies is learn that crying manipulates our environment and can even learn to lie-cry to be picked up. It’s our first humaning skill.
But there’s no one who “teaches” you how to mask successfully. You just have to try your best and learn how to manage the energy depletion. We’re not introverts per se (although some are), mostly we’re trying to mirror the people around us and fit in because we know we don’t. Trust me. We KNOW. We FEEL wrong. We don’t FIT into the lines around us. What we do when we mask is try to keep our colouring inside of the lines, and those colours are actually ourselves.

I am not Dead. :D Just forgetful….

I swear to God I updated the blog last week but apparently I did not. Dear Lord.

Not a lot really has gone on. The house is slowly coming into grips with itself and I’ve got a nice writing nook built up in my room. If you are on Facebook, you might want to consider joining my group (there are questions to make sure you are not a bot so please respond to them to be accepted in). I am having an Ask Me Anything on Saturday. Well two of them to be exact.

Here’s the link to the group:

It’s Rhys Ford’s Coffee, Cats, and Murder. Can’t miss it.

There will be prizes and I will try to answer as many questions as I can or just hang out with people. And give away things. International readers are very much welcome to join. I post globally because that’s only fair. If the Post Office can get stuff to you, I shall send it. There’s also going to be virtual prizes as well so… join if you please!

Today is the Potato’s 13th birthday! He got a bath yesterday because he was out playing in the water from the garden hose then decided afterwards he would roll in the dirt and grass… so he was a filthy mess. Right now, he’s spending his morning snoring away. So is Harley. I don’t know where Badger is but probably on my bed.

Or plotting world domination. One never knows with him.

But that’s my update. I will leave you with this…

I love George. He is awesome. But man, this burger can give you a heart attack. Proceed with caution.

Covid Shot and Some News….

Got the Pfzier shot… well the first one this week and all in all, it’s going okay except for the aching muscles and headache. I’ll get the second in a few weeks and then I’ll.. still be wearing a mask in public until everyone gets their shot and the numbers go down. Because that’s the responsible thing to do.

Now… I DO have some news regarding audiobooks.

Kale Williams will be doing ‘Nother Sip of Gin and also taking over the 415 Ink series. Schedules and pandemic and a whole slew of things just were working against getting Tristan back in but after much debate and consideration, I knew Kale was the only one I could hear bring it home. I’ve heard the first story in the anthology as well as a bit of snippets of the Morgans and I can say Kale has delivered. And I am quite proud of him for stepping up and very pleased and humbled he chose to do so.

I HAVE taken a bit of a hiatus from writing in order to steady myself. I’ve lost the love of writing for nearly half a year what with everything going on at home and my sister, Jenn’s passing. I spent a few weeks arting and feel ready to crash back in.

With all of that being said, I think I’m ready to announce the next thing to come off my keyboard as a Connor and Forest short novel. It is yet untitled but as you know, we’ll be looking for a booze reference so save up all your puns. We’ll be going in for a shot or two after this is all said and done.

After that I owe Luke, the next Chinatown Demons, Murder 3, McGinnis 2, and Beast… oh and Kai. So, I’m hoping I am centred and ready to word.

As always, I am grateful for your support and you being here. I hope to be worthy of your trust and company.


It’s Wednesday, My Dudes and A Borking Report

I’ve been trying to reboot my brain by doing some home art. Basically I’ve got a kind of blank wall now and I’m doing a take on hanafuda cards. Almost done but… there’s this thing when you wonder if you’re going to like it and if you can stand looking at shit you’ve made. Art is… subjective and even more so when it’s your own. I hate what I art more than what I write and as most authors can tell you, we loathe our wording. Or at least the sane ones do.
It’s a thing 😀 But I shall get this done and we’ll see if I like or love it.
So it was storming hard this morning and it was a bit of touch and go if the Borking Potato was going to be able to go out but the sun came out just in time for him to take a good trot around the block. He was kitted up when his Auntie came by… dressed in his full raincoat regalia because knowing him, he was going to pounce on every puddle he saw.
And he did.
As well as drinking from the puddles because he’s a dorkwad.
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus loved rolling around in all the wet grass! It stopped raining perfectly for our walk and the sun was out! I’m sure Gus loved the cold air.
Best, Jessica

A New BORKING REPORT! March has Arrived!

He was ready to go as usual today and well this week will be the test on whether or not three days a week is too much for the old Potato. We would like to see him get out more but he’s almost 13 and that’s a very long tooth for a Cairn.
The Potato also has been resting on not only his camo bed but also a thick memory foam cushion beneath to perhaps ease up on some of his joint pressure. The bed in my room and the living room have both been enhanced and now it’s like he’s got this throne thing going. He easily gets up into it and crashes. Right now he looks very comfortable and is snoring away. The extra height does not curtail his cavorting so that’s good.
His Auntie Jessica is looking forward to spending another hour with the pupper. She does so love him.
From his Aunt Jessica:
It’s a hot day today. Gus was barking a bit the first half of the walk. Towards the end I think he was too tired to bark. He did very good and had a lot of fun!


Today was apparently the best day ever because Gus the Blond Potato was out the door and living large as soon as his feet hit the sidewalk. It was a power walk day where he ran his Auntie ragged with how fast of a pace he set up. It’s hard to remember to pull him back and temper his borking trot but he’s an old man. He’ll be feeling that near-run pace he loves in a few hours after he comes home.
And of course he went head down into the water, cavorted and then got scritches from his Aunt Jessica as soon as he came home. He’s been in a cavorting kind of mood. Right now, his eyes have been cleaned, he’s gotten his allergy treats and he’s stalking his dinner… a fine mix of grain-free, high-protein kibble topped with a beef stew.
And later, there will be a sweet potato snack. And much snoring.
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of borking today! So many people out! I’m sure he will be very tired today. See him soon!

New Year… of the Ox!

So the new year is upon us. We’ve left the Rat behind and welcome the Ox. Lots of things happened last year and not many of them good but with the coming of the new Lunar Year, it is time to shed the past demons and go forth.

It’s kinda odd having a Lunar New Year without fireworks but… I live in SoCal and well, wildfires are a thing.

We’ve taken to going outside with Badger… while he’s on a lead. Nothing like walking the cat around in the backyard. The pandemic lockdown is getting to all of us. To be fair, I’ve also painted the back of my front door orange so what does that say about me?

I mean the most exciting thing I have going is a new roomba that I finally figured out how to make work the right pattern. It’s a very tricky thing.

But that’s an update for a bit. Trying to recapture my writing brain and bring in something fun and good. I think we’re all in need of just breathing in fresh air and most of all, being kind to ourselves. Make sure you do something nice for yourself. And I don’t mean buying a new spool of dental floss. Something actually nice 😀



The Potato was very happy this morning to see his Auntie Jessica. Yesterday he had a long car trip and then came home to naps and snuggles. This morning, he was kitted out and all ready to go.

He’s actually doing well for an old Pupper. That’s one thing I have to watch out for because the Gus Gus will be 13 in April and that’s a long time for a cairn. He’s definitely a solid little pupper and getting him to do anything with a toy never goes far so his exercise pretty much is walking around and wrestling. He is more than happy to go with you in and out of the house. That never gets old in the Potato’s world. But I do have to get some kind of step / ramp thing for the back door since it’s a bit of a drop and the hop up can sometimes be a strain. Usually when it’s cold.

But today is warm and he came into the house with a lot of grassy bits on him… because someone obviously mowed the lawn and he found it. Nothing like wet grass and cavorting for this dog. He’s a silly thing.

He has a mobile groomer coming on Thursday and hopefully he’ll behave for them. We’ll see. He apparently decided to poop again today on his walk. The world is getting crazy out there. He’s very relaxed now. But still, borking at the lawn guys because that’s what a Potato does.

From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus did a lot of rolling around in the grass today. He looked so happy! He had a lot to say to all the neighbors too!
Best, Jessica