The hardest thing is waiting.

I’ve got some funky health things going on and I won’t talk to the next doc until Tuesday.

Now, I’m by nature a worrier and I can stress like no one else. Anxiety attacks? Not a problem, I’ve got all flavours.

But man, waiting tires you out, even if you know for pretty certain that it’s something fixable. Because…suppose it isn’t?

So, lots of water… no rockets in my salad… and walk around the building a couple of times when I’m feeling squirrely in the head.

And write. That’s hard to do when your brain’s running into walls. But damn it, I’m going to get this book done!

SOOPER SEEKRIT Project Reveal over at The Novel Approach! Devil Take Me Anthology Cover, Blurb and Giveaway!

Today is the Day!

The SOOPER SEEKRIT Project Reveal is happening over at The Novel Approach!  Link to Post Here.

Join us for an Exclusive Cover Reveal and Giveaway for Devil Take Me featuring Rhys Ford, Ginn Hale, Jordan L. Hawk, TA Moore, C.S. Poe and Jordan Castillo Price.

Pre-order Devil Take Me from DSP Publications
This title will also be on a preorder sale for 40% off through Friday, June 22.

The Tale of A Donut

I actually want to talk about an event in my life that embedded something inside of me. I think I’ve talked about this before but if you’ve heard the story, feel free to skip it.

I was probably about eleven or twelve and we were living in Waianae on the leeward side of O’ahu. Now, there were a lot of issues with me back then. And I’m not to go into them here but needless to say, I was struggling to stay afloat. I was being bombarded at all sides and the support system I had recently disintegrated following the deaths of my two grandfathers as well as the collie I’d been given as a baby. This led to an escalation of violence and abuse by my father who no longer had anyone to tell him to stop.

See, I was trying so hard to find out who I was and to survive should’ve loved and protected me but pretty much was willing to kill me, both physically and psychologically. My world was an upside down mess of a labyrinth and I was lost.

One day I’d gone out with my younger sister — she’s four years younger than I am — and I had some money on me. We stopped at a bakery because I was going to buy us donuts. She picked out one and I picked out another but I didn’t have enough money on me.

The woman behind the counter told me to come back tomorrow with the difference. Her coworker who was standing behind her told her that was the wrong thing to do because I would not return with the money. I remember her looking at that other woman and say sometimes you have to trust, sometimes you have to give people the opportunity to do the right thing.

It was like fifteen cents and I made sure I stopped by after school the next day and gave it to her. She turned to her coworker said, “See?”.

I still can’t even talk about this without crying.

She gave me something very special that day. She taught me what integrity was.

It wasn’t something I understood and there was a dual purpose to be returning, one because she extended her trust to me and I kind of wanted to say fuck you to the other woman. Because she made me less than what I was, or at least less who I wanted to be.

I didn’t practice that lesson until I turned nineteen and realized I didn’t care for the person I was. And it’s not like I’m a fantastic person. I am envious and jealous and spiteful and angry and I still question the value and whether or not I make a difference. My legacy will not be children or a groundbreaking, life altering discovery that changes the world. And I question that too because why are we here if only to exist?

I think we have to do better than just survive our lives. Or at least I hope that’s the point of all of this. That woman changed who I was, who I was going to be. And it may sound stupid but it was a single defining moment I can point to and say, someone believed there was a bit of humanity in me and I refused to let them down.

So, to the nameless woman who worked in a Waianae bakery over forty years ago, I say thank you. You did something for someone. Something they carried with them their entire lives. I cannot repay you for the gift you gave but I hope to give it to others. I hope your life is wonderful and joy filled and I am eternally grateful for your faith.

Take what you want out of this post. I just needed to share this today. Hope it reminds you there are good people out there, and maybe even remind you that you’re one too. ❤

The Not-So-Scarlet A

“She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom.”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

I’ve started and stopped this post about ten times now. Not because I’m afraid or worried about what people will think or say. Mostly because once I settled into the reality of me, I ceased giving a shit about what people thought about who I was or what I was.

Then something came up very recently and I thought; Well, I should put something out there.

I’m going to be writing this from a purely personal voice. Nothing professional about it. The time is right for me to talk about this because it’s Pride Month and well, a neutral time for me. And it kind of saddens me that I have to lay this out with those factors in mind but it is what it is and people are who they are.

Just like I am who I am.

So, in the spirit of Pride Month and coming out, I would like to tell all of you I am agender.

I know, right? Birds didn’t fall from the sky, the erupting volcano down the street from my mom’s house is still going at it and my dog still eats cat shit out of the litter box.

So let me back this ramen cart up a bit and talk about why I’m sharing this.

A little bit is because I’m irritated (mostly at myself) but I’ll get into that later.

Anger is one of the most stupidest of reasons to be talking about this because honestly, I’ve always known I’m not a girl or a boy. I’ve just never given a shit once I settled there. I’ve always been a mix. And not the social construct of gender identity but rather the sheer lack of identifying with either one. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’m not much of a joiner of things. I’m so much of a non-joiner, I opted out of a gender.

I’ve never felt like a girl or a boy. And I struggled with that. I’ve struggled the fuck out of that. I’ve explored being more femme and trying to see if I wasn’t really a guy. I tried male on. It didn’t fit. Neither did female. There were a lot of identity things that caused a lot of confusion, heartache, rage, loneliness and most of all, disassociation from society and people.

At the end of it all, I realized one very significant thing… it just didn’t fucking matter. Continue reading “The Not-So-Scarlet A”

New Sinners Swag at the Rhys Ford Merch Store

Since I forgot to announce this and I’m obviously not all that right in the head after the flight back home… I’m doing this now. *grins*

There are two new designs in the store…both for the Sinners series. I’ll be following up with a new Cole McGinnis logo (I hate the one there now) AND a Kai shirt.

Let me know what you think should be in the shop. 😀

Tentative horrible de français pour mes lecteurs français … Mise à jour sur les pécheurs et le Salon du Livre

Bonjour et bonjour!

C’est un cri spécial à mes lecteurs français que je vais faire un effort particulier pour pirater mes mots avec ma petite connaissance française et un mauvais Google Traduction!

Je voulais vous mettre à jour sur les livres de Sinners, car plusieurs d’entre vous m’ont récemment demandé le calendrier des traductions. À l’heure actuelle, les trois premiers livres sont sortis et le quatrième, Sloe Ride, sera publié en juillet, donc pas longtemps à attendre!

Je suis également heureux d’annoncer que 415 Ink: Rebel sortira à l’automne et c’est très excitant pour moi de partager cela avec le public français.

En ce qui concerne les fantasmes urbains, Black Dog Blues et Mad Lizard Mambo (les deux livres de la série Kai Gracen) ainsi que Dim Sum Asylum sont également traduits, donc si vous aimez l’action et l’aventure, j’espère que vous les apprécierez.

J’espère vous voir tous au Salon du Livre de Paris en mars 2019! Je serai là avec certains de mes collègues auteurs Dreamspinner Press comme TA Moore, CS Poe et Bru Baker ainsi que d’autres. Je mettrai à jour la liste des auteurs quand je saurai qui d’autre viendra. J’espère également voir tout le monde chez MxM et Reines-Beaux! ET l’incroyablement talentueuse et magnifique Rose Darcy pour qui j’ai une intense adoration et admiration.

Merci à tous pour votre soutien et pour m’avoir contacté. J’apprécie chacun d’entre vous. J’espère vous voir tous en mars. Et beaucoup d’amour!

Good Morning and Hello!

This is a special shout out to my French readers whom I shall make a special effort to hack at my words with my little French knowledge and a bad Google Translate!

I wanted to update you all about the Sinners books since quite a few of you have asked me recently about the translations schedule. Right now, the first three books are out and the fourth, Sloe Ride, will be released in July so not long to wait!

I also am happy to announce 415 Ink: Rebel will be out in the Fall and that is very exciting for me to share that with the French audience.

As for the urban fantasies, Black Dog Blues and Mad Lizard Mambo (the two books in the Kai Gracen series) as well as Dim Sum Asylum  are translated as well so if you like action and adventure, I hope you enjoy them.

I do so hope to see all of you at the Paris Salon du Livre in March 2019! I shall be there with some of my fellow Dreamspinner Press authors like TA Moore, CS Poe and Bru Baker as well as others. I will update the author list when I know who else is coming. I am also hoping to see everyone at MxM and Reines-Beaux! AND the incredibly talented and gorgeous Rose Darcy for whom I have an intense adoration and admiration.

Thank you all for your support and for reaching out to me. I appreciate each and every one of you. I hope to see you all in March. And much love!


Back from NYC!

And you know… I have pictures. But mostly of food to taunt friends with.

We had a fantastic reader meetup at Faces and Names. We were loud. The music got louder. Pretty sure they kept turning it up hoping we’d get the hell out. No, really the staff was great and the event was awesome.

There’s “red carpet” photos of the event someplace which I’m going to have to hunt down. Dreamspinner’s Elizabeth North and Lynn West attended with me, CS Poe and Greg Tremblay. Michael Nava met us there and we did a couple of carpet shots with him and well, he also showed us where the bar was. I think. It’s a blur. 😀 But he is awesome and my company of DSP and narrator were fantastic. The ceremony was fun, touching and a great time. And I am so damned thrilled to have been a finalist. Congrats really to all the winners of this year’s Lammys and the finalists because damn, there was some mighty fine company to be keeping this year.

This is going to be a pretty quick post only because I’m about 4K or so away from the end of Kai 3 and I’ve got an edit looming and the dog misses me. Or so he is saying. He could just want treats. You never know with him.

Love you all and thank you so much for your support. You all rock and damn, you’re the best.


Heading to NYC tomorrow.. BUT working on finishing Kai

So much going on and honestly, most of it is on the page. I’m carving at the end of Kai but I’m heading to NYC for the LAMBDAs tomorrow night on a redeye. I’ll be hitting Newark at about 5:30ish in the morning and then heading into the City.

Plans are to write, talk, coffee… oh and meet up with CS Poe and readers at Faces and Names on Saturday. If you’re around, drop on by.