Sunday Morning… Go for a ride…

Well, despite what the Beatles say, no riding for me for a bit. I’ve been banned from driving until I get thru the meds but to be fair, I’m also the victim of surprise naps so driving isn’t in the cards at the moment but hell, the Firebird is SO dirty. Even sitting in the garage. So, I’ll have to sneak drive him over to the car wash (very close) and get him bathed.**

The weather here’s been nice and I’d love to write something. Which I might actually do a short story. That’ll be good. Something I can bite into and chew then move into something heavier. An amuse-bouche for my brain.

Right now I’m waiting for a boba order to show up. Thank God for Doordash. And that I live in San Diego and I can get boba delivered to my house. 😀

Hope everyone’s okay and well, that you’re taking a bit of self-care today. Remember, hydrate and breathe.

** I’m not serious. No driving for me. 😀

Recovering and Well, Stumbling Thru A Fog

Since I am piling up surgeries (Three by the last count), one of the main issues is that when they put you under and bring you back out, you’re kind of in a fog. Like stupid foggy things. Like forgetting your cat’s name. Mostly I’ve been taken medications and of course tending to the latest incision which hurts like a fucking son of a bitch.

So that’s been a thing.

All in all, aside from dealing with the Russian Roulette of “Which surgery did I get THAT pain from and should I tell the doc”, it’s been going okay. Lots of sleeping. And of course a struggle to regain control of my various body parts.

Gus’ Auntie Paige is on vacation so he hasn’t had a bork but I think he’s okay with it. Or he’ll complain to her that we don’t love him when he sees her next. Currently he’s snoring away.

I have discovered I need to re-read something in order to write the next one so that’s going to be my task this weekend. Which does happen. To get the feel of the book and also to remember who I killed. That’s very important. Also, refreshing what my brain remembers helps because things change in edits and sometimes my brain refuses to make that the new reality. That’s the worst of it.

Hoping all of you are doing okay. I’m going to try to re-engage in life now that hopefully I’ve had the last of the cutting into me. I leave you with the Pretzel of my cat, Gojira. Goji is an odd thing. Delightfully chaotic and loving at the same time. She’s a bit of a menace.

Where the Hell Am I?

I had someone I adored dearly.
And in an odd moment, clearly lost their compass and severed contact with me after sort of painting me with an abrasive, toxic brush…
It was curious, hateful, and confusing but sadly I still miss them and keep wondering how the fuck did they get to there? Because I’m the same person as I’ve always been.
Well, minus the craziness in my guts.
Not to say that I couldn’t have been bitchy, mean, or grumpy while under the influence of all this shit. I hope not. But it is a clear possibility, along with poor spelling.
I mean, yeah… I’ve noticed a bunch of fellow authors I’d thought I had decent friendships sitting in silence and while that saddened me, I bear them no ill will. If they came back to circle around for friendship, they would be welcome.
Okay, not the ones that said they hoped I die of cancer or threatened me with dire physical things. Because those people seriously are not welcome. I don’t need to be pickled in toxic juices.
For the most part in my life, I do try to be helpful and civil and you know, I don’t always hit the mark. There have been times when I flat out am just a growly badger and snap and bite. I do try to apologize at those times. I also know I’m kind of reserved in a lot of situations, which I actually didn’t realize until a few years ago. So it’s been a journey of…. shit, let’s see who I am coming out of these surgeries and the removal of a source of intense constant pain.
It’ll be interesting. I hope I’m an okay person. I’ll still fuck up. I’ll still have Aspergers and people will still confuse me but you know what, so long as the neighbour’s cat likes me, I’m good.
It’s a weird space to be in right now and well, I’m looking forward to decorating it once I’m past the fog and noise.

Home Nurses, Milk Coffee Boba, and Internal Organs

I can honestly say I’ve not given my kidneys much thought other than to stay hydrated and making sure I take care of my innards. Now since a variety of medical pros have taken an immersion blender to my guts and I’ve been left with the tangle of tubes, it’s been a constant battle to not only remember these things sticking out of me but also to keep them contained. Home nurses make an appearance like today, go over me like digging for fossils and then leave. But they are nice.

There’s also a barely adult kitten named Goji who has been actually quite well behaved about them and the other two cats couldn’t care less. Mostly they’re disgruntled because I’m more sprawled out on the bed and there’s less cat room for them. Badger did crawl under the blankets for my first surprise nap of the day and sit on my side. Then he decided I was too warm and came out, snuggled then took off.

Surprise naps are commonplace. Usually they hit after food but some days, they pass me buy. Or bedtime strikes very early. Listen to your body… sleep when it tells you but also eat on a loose schedule.

Now today I’m craving more Milk Coffee boba with egg pudding so that’s what I’m going to do. All the cats are asleep. The Potato got a bath from his Auntie and now he’s snoring off the exertion of being in the water. I’m watching Youtube videos of cooking shows and people trying food while drinking lots of water.

All of this tubing should come out on the 17th but that’s only if the CT scan on the 16th is clear. I will TMI and tell you there are things people don’t think about telling you like the disolving stitches actually float out of you so don’t be shocked by them appearing suddenly and sometimes drain wounds take the longest to heal. Also, showers are glorious things.

So that’s the update for today.

Bean Burrito and Happy Potato

Can I tell you all that half a carnitas quesadilla and a small bean, cheese, and sour cream burrito with green salsa tastes soooooo good. And I probably should also give credit to the pain pills I took but hey, stomach is holding up.
Doggo is also eating his dinner in a much delighted state.
I’m sleeping a hell of a lot. Like I get up, do some meds, take blood sugars, eat, stare at some videos then tap out. Which apparently is what I’m supposed to be doing but it’s so not me. I’m all… I can do all the things…and my body is all… sure you can, Shirley… here’s the fucking bed.
Uterus being gone is odd. Like the constant pain that was there is missing. There’s other pains, different ones but the sharp edging all of the stuff from the past few years is not there. I spent so much time dealing with it, handling it while at conventions and work so it’ll be interesting to see how I do now it’s not there. Years of it and well, despite all the horrific complications, that piece being gone is nice.
The tubes are annoying but hey, kidneys gotta kidney.
Smooches to everyone and hey, share with me a picture of a pet and tell me about them or your favourie animal!

Slight TMI but Shout Outs to Rockstar Docs

There is nothing like a bowl of instant miso soup with tofu and wakame after having several weeks of hardcore surgeries, hospital stays, pain, and sucky life. A bowl of miso can cure so much.
I’m doing better today than I was this past week. Surgery was the 15th and to be honest, I didn’t feel safe in the hospital. It was too short staffed and I was reaching panic levels of GET ME THE FUCK OUT. So coming home was great. Having a massive purge of my intestines when I came home wasn’t but I think a lot of that had to do with the built up stress and just being done with it. I can’t really even crack an emotional purge because I think I just shut everything down.
And this is also going to be a TMI because… I honestly didn’t know. I was diced up pretty badly between my bladder and kidney tubes. I have tubes coming out of me still and will be that way for about a month. And honestly, I’ve been very appreciative to everyone who has reached out and said hey and get well. It’s been a constant pain roller coaster and there are moments when I’m like… why the fuck didn’t I just shotgun whiskey and pain killers to get this over with because fucking hell.
But you know, I’ve gotta get thru it. Gotta happen. Besides, I’ve got series to finish. 😀
The doctors have been great. My OB/GYN is a rock star for tackling an 8 lb uterus out of me and its bristle of fruit-sized fibroids. Apparently the average uterus is the size of a pear and weighs 5 ounces (141 grams) so… yeah. That’s why that surgery took a bit. The resulting bladder and kidney damage of course meant more surgery and my doc for that also is a rock star… not only because he looks like he could be a Bollywood star but also because he constantly gave credit to his team and their opinions, including the Department Head who is a woman. Much respect for both of these men. I feel very invested in and didn’t even mind that a bunch of surgeons Facetimed my robotic kidney, bladder, and vaginal repairs for the 8 hours it took. I can’t imagine that being interesting but apparently it was. They were all very excited.
Which is kind of nice. Good to have doctors excited about stitching bits and pieces of you back up. I owe them all macarons and blessings. My poor primary doc is having to play catchup because well, all of this shifted EVERYTHING in my guts and I don’t have high blood pressure any more. It’ll be a new normal. Or rather the normal I should have been having.
So there you go. An update. Hopefully the next one will be about something silly.
And yes I do have pictures of the fibroids because dudes, my innards looked like a Buddha’s hand and I’d been carrying that for years.

So Newish Novella and my Fucked Up 2 Weeks

I’ll get the book promo out of the way. I was gonna do a blog tour and giveaways but something happened on the way to the garlic patch…. which we will get into later.

If you’ve not read Detroit Kiss when it was first released in the anthology, it’s now out as a standalone… minor tweaks and a bit of tuning I’d wanted to do. I do adore Shaddock, the dark fae familiar so I’m sure I’ll be heading back to visit Ciarnan and Javi again!

Oh hey, I’ve a novella coming out on Apr 14. Kinda got distracted with the monster extraction of my guts and bits BUT catch the re-release of Detroit Kiss this week and go on a wild ride with a death mage and the vampire hunter who crosses his path. Be sure to grab a copy and leave a review if you like!

For Javi Navarro, Detroit will become another blood-splattered city in his rearview mirror after he puts its dead back into the ground. Expecting an easy hunting job, Javi instead finds a kiss of ancient vampires on the hunt for a descendent of their long-dead creator.

Reclusive Ciarnan Mac Gerailt abandoned his family legacy of blood and death magic after it nearly destroyed him. Unfortunately, the Motor City can only be saved if Ciarnan resumes his dark arts and joins forces with Javi Navarro, the hunter who brought the vampire apocalypse—and hope for the future—straight to Ciarnan’s front door.

Now for the boring stuff… I went in to get an outpatient surgery to remove a fibroid. I’ve spent years in a mess and finally got an OB/GYN who not only listened but had plans. Well, the plans went awry when they went in to remove that fibroid and discovered I pretty much was growing an Ancient One in my guts. I’ll spare you the details but let just say, I was pretty much carting around a very angry, snapping turtle in my guts.

Sadly, during the eviction of Angry Snapping Turtle, they knicked my bladder and kidney tube. So, I’m currently hooked up to a lot of tubes and drains and will be going back into surgery on the 15th to get those repaired. So eventually, I’ll be recovering from the intial surgery starting next week. *grins*

And that’s where I am. Swear to God, I just want this over because it’s been impossible to live, write, pet the dog, sleep and all of that living thing for the past few years. So wish me luck and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t mix your wasabi into your shoyu. It’s your food. Do as you please.

It’s been a crazy time…

I swear to God I am not dead. Mostly just trying to get things done but also trying to balance out the severe fatigue that plagues me. Hopefully that’ll be eased a lot on the 31st after my surgery but it’s good to stay cautious and manage expectations. Getting your head on straight sometimes takes a bit and often times, I’ve noticed I assume the “blame” for something going upside down.

Habit? Ingrained conditioning? That kind of thing. Dunno. Not to say there aren’t times when I’ve fucked up but there are times when people have just lost their shit and you’ve done nothing wrong. Hard to deal with the shit-losing because I pick it apart like a salad I didn’t make. What’s in this? Why is that there? Onion or… pickled something or other?

I’ve finished up a small project and need to circle back to the big one… as well as working on a crafty thing for someone else. It actually helps focus my brain a bit and it’s nice to just hum along and do something fun without having any expectations of deadlines and all of that. I don’t have to edit artsy things that I’m doing for fun.

Covers and stuff, yes. 😀 Because that’s the way things are.

I need to make kau yuk soon. I’ve been craving it and it’s such an old school Asian dish that no one makes it at restaurants here. You can find it in Hawai’i but definitely not in San Diego. I wonder if there’s someplace in SF that makes it. I’ll have to go digging. It’s easy enough to make.

Oh, if you’re a member of my facebook group, I’m having an AMA on the 26th. Two actually to try to hit all the time zones. So stop by if you are interested! If you’ve not joined the FB group, join and answer the 3 questions, most to assure everyone you’re not there to sell them anything.

Today’s Borking Report…

Today’s Borking Report… which is kind of covered by cat spit because Harley is VERY invested in getting scritches today and she bites and licks.
California is a bit warmer today so the Borking Potato went out in lighter gear. He for some reason loves to roll around when someone is trying to get him kitted up. Or at least when others do. He’s pretty well behaved for me. He’s a dork.
He was so very excited and happy when he came back and rolled around like a mad thing. It’s been a good Gus Gus morning. And he’s been loving his new food, a combination of dehydrated raw and refrigerated “fresh”. Since he likes it a bit soupy, I do add more water than necessary but like I’ve said, he’s an odd dog.
He also LURVES his Auntie Jessica and came back grinning after spending time with her.
From his Auntie Jessica
Gus is so happy today! He said hi to some people out on walks. He did a lot of rolling around in the grass too! I hope he gets some rest today!