For those of you following TJ and Eric’s journey, TJ shared his thoughts today at Sid Love’s. Link to guest post here.
Category: Heh
Three Things You Probably Don’t Know About ZA Maxfield and a GIVEAWAY!
(From Rhys: The fantastic ZA Maxfield is here today and she’s bringing all sorts of goodies with her!)
Three Things You Probably Don’t Know About ZAM
Which ZAM story was the hardest to write:
The hardest thing I ever wrote was a short story called Jumping Off Places. I wrote it for an anthology called Because of the Brave, which featured authors Josh Lanyon and Laura Baumbach as well. (The timing was terrible, but I wasn’t going to turn down an opportunity to be between the covers with my IDOLS.) Due to my schedule that year I had to write the story the week after my mother passed away unexpectedly. My thinking was this: there was never ever going to be a better time to write about a character losing his mother because all those really visceral emotions and images were available to me, right then.
What I didn’t realize was I was fairly numb when I wrote it but when I went to go through the edits, it all came back—whoosh—and I was no longer protected by the shock. I probably wouldn’t do that again.
I wish I could be in a band with my author pals!
I’d want Rhys Ford on vocals (and to write the music) because she just seems perfect for the job! Belinda McBride and I would sing backup and shake tambourines dressed like Stevie Nicks. I’d put Damon Suede on drums, because he kind of reminds me of Animal from the Muppets. (Only kind of, but it’s there.) And on Guitars, Hmmm…Devon Rhodes and TA Chase because they work together so well and of course, they’d bring all that beauty, charm and humor to the party! Imagine me tumbling out of a smoky tour bus with that lot…
If one of your titles could be made into a movie, which would it be?
Crossing Borders, starring Shaun White at nineteen! Which actor should play Michael? Rhys, I think we should have people comment and see who comes up with the best actor for the job. Ebook goes to winner!
Thanks for letting me be here today, Rhys. I’m waiting on Dirty Deeds…my fingers are itching I want it so bad!
Each post I create for the My Cowboy Heart Blog tour will have the following items in common, cover, blurb, links, and contest. To add these elements easily, please copy and paste the following into the blog text editor:
My Heartache Cowboy
(Cowboy Series, Bk #2)
By Z.A. Maxfield
By Z.A. Maxfield
Blurb:
Can love conquer all?
Jimmy Rafferty and Eddie Molina go way back at the J-Bar ranch. They’ve worked together, bunked together, camped out, and drank together. So how has Jimmy failed to notice that Eddie is gay? Eddie has not failed to notice that his friend has a serious drinking problem, and he’s determined to help Jimmy kick the booze cold turkey.
Taking him up to a snowbound cabin to detox, Eddie is confronted with Jimmy’s fierce denial. But the pains of withdrawal are nothing for Jimmy compared with the heartache of denying his true feelings and his deep longing…for the one man who cares for him more than anyone else on earth.
Available for purchase at
Excerpt
When I woke, I was alone and the truck wasn’t moving.
Who the hell did Eddie think he was, leaving me asleep by myself in a truck outside in the freezing cold? My pa and my older brother, Jonas, used to do that. We’d be on the road, and when I fell asleep, they’d leave me in the parking lot of some dive bar or motel—just leave me asleep outside in the dark. I’d wake up with no clue where I was, no idea if they were coming back or if I should go in and try to find them.
My first useful thought was to look for the keys, because I hadn’t forgotten what Eddie said. I hadn’t forgotten the plans him and boss Malloy made for me behind my back. It would serve them right if I up and hightailed it back to the J-Bar with Eddie’s truck and no Eddie.
No keys.
Not like that was going to stop me. Where the hell did Eddie get the idea I’d go quietly? I slid over and tore the wiring out from under the dash. Found what I needed without hardly even looking.
I hated waking up alone like that. Unwanted. Abandoned.
One twist. Two. Touch the wires together and the engine should . . .
Fuck.
Nothing.
What the hell? I checked I got the proper color-coated strands and tried again. I was frowning down at the mess of tangled wire when someone tapped on the window behind me.
I glanced up and saw Eddie frowning down, no doubt pissed at what I’d done to his truck. Serves you right for leaving me like that, you prick.
“You need a working engine for that,” he told me as he opened the door. “One that has a battery.”
“Fuck you.” I spilled out of the car ready for a fistfight.
“What?” Eddie jumped back.
“Why did you have to leave me like that? What did I ever do to you?”
Eddie shook his head at me. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. You were sound asleep and I thought maybe you needed it.”
I took a swing at him. “I hate waking up alone in a car like that.”
Ed plucked my fist from the air and peered at me like he was trying to see through my skin. “I didn’t know.”
“I hate that. Left behind in the car like a damn dog. Like a fucking duffel bag. You can’t be bothered to even wake me up and take me in out of the fucking snow.”
Now Eddie frowned like he was thinking about it. Now, after the fact. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. I didn’t think how you’d feel waking up alone like that. I won’t do it again.”
“Would have served you right if I took your truck and left you up here to walk back to civilization, wherever the hell that is. Would have served you right if I’d died out here.”
“All right, all right. Simmer down now.”
I glared at him. “Fuck you.”
“It’s pretty civilized inside. How about you come in with me.”
“How about you suck my fucking—”
“That’s enough.” He turned and headed toward the cabin’s welcoming front door. “I almost didn’t bother to disable the damn thing, but I thought on the off chance you knew what you were doing and could—”
“Which I did,” I pointed out.
“Come inside.” He jerked his chin toward the cabin like I was a dog and I was supposed to just follow along and yip around at his heels.
I debated making a run at him, but frankly, Eddie was a tough buzzard. He wasn’t too much older than me, just forty-two compared to my thirty-eight. But I was a lover, not a fighter, or at least that’s how I thought of myself. Back there on the road, Eddie had proved he wasn’t above using violence to get his way in this, so I went along.
You’re going to have to sleep sometime.
Eddie led me into a rustic-looking cabin that seemed awful nice for the middle of nowhere. There was a place for us to hang our hats just inside the door, over a table with a passel of pictures on it. There were old time black-and-whites of families and framed pictures of a good-looking man, a pretty woman, and some kids. There were some of the kids alone, and holy cow, there were probably a dozen pictures of Ed. He looked so young in a couple of them, they must have been from before we met.
One of Ed and the unknown man caught my eye. Something about the difference in height, the casual way they leaned together, the way they looked at each other, made me think this was Ed’s friend from the road, Don. Even though they’d both aged some since it was taken, I was almost sure of it.
No knobby hands, no weathered angel, this Don was good looking, without a doubt. He was lanky and chiseled. He had an intelligent face and a smile that drew the eye. He seemed sure of himself and charming. Whatever I’d seen in the darkness outside the car had to be a trick of the light.
Ed looked so young and earnest next to him it took my breath away. Brawny and tan, he wore a yoked Western shirt with the sleeves rolled up past well-muscled forearms and he eyed Don like he would follow him anywhere.
And that Don, he looked like he could appreciate a guy like Ed, as well.
Hadn’t I seen firsthand how much he did appreciate him?
About the Author
Z. A. Maxfield started writing in 2007 on a dare from her children and never looked back. Pathologically disorganized, and perennially optimistic, she writes as much as she can, reads as much as she dares, and enjoys her time with family and friends. Three things reverberate throughout all her stories: Unconditional love, redemption, and the belief that miracles happen when we least expect them. If anyone asks her how a wife and mother of four can find time for a writing career, she’ll answer, “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you give up housework.”
You can find ZA Maxfield at
Enter ZAM’S Rafflecopter Giveaway by clicking the link below
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Eric Update
TJ Writes: On my way to the hospital this morning, I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I told Eric when I got there that I wouldn’t cry. Of course, when they said it was time to go, I failed miserably. He smiled at me and told me it was going to be okay. I know it will. It was still hard.
I’m taking a few days off, so if you don’t hear from me on here with an update, it is nothing to worry about. I’ll have one of the Crack Crew relay a message if it is important. I need to shut down for a bit and recharge. Thank you to everyone who has helped us get this far. You’re a big part of how we’ve kept going.
Update: Half an hour ago: Eric made it to the new hospital in Ohio where his mom and aunt were waiting. He’s doing good. I will talk with you all soon.
TJ Post: Jan 18
TJ Writes: For the last 37 days, the only thing Eric has been able to have in his mouth is water and cleaning paste.
I got to give him apple juice for the first time today on mouth sponge. He made orgasm face at the taste of it and then immediately fell asleep.
He does the same thing when I make him make that face at home.
😀
A Bump In The Road: Eric Update
TJ writes:
When you are in a partnership, things usually have to be equal to work. But sometimes, the needs of one outweigh the other.
Before I left work on Wednesday, it was made clear to me that I can’t keep missing work for too much longer. I have to work to support us. I am not mad at my employer. I understand completely where they are coming from.
Couple that with the need to find Eric the best possible care, I have to put his needs above my own wishes.
That being said, on Monday, Eric will be moved to a facility in Ohio that can hopefully get him the care he needs. His family is only an hour away and I have been assured people will be with him every day because I won’t be able too anymore. I will go out as often as I can.
Eric agreed with this decision. I told him this was just a bump in our journey together. He told me he loved me.
But make no mistake. He might be going away from here, but it is not for good. He is my home and I am his. That is all that matters.
Call for Help: TJ and Eric Update
Tj Klune shared a link: “Eric Arvin Support Fund”: “I don’t like to ask for things. I am proud like that, to a fault. But I need to set that aside for Eric and his health.
Plans are being set in motion to move Eric from this awful hospital. Unfortunately, such a move to another facility is going to fall and Eric and I to cover, as it is not considered a medical necessity.
The cold reality of this too is even though that number already says 41k, half of that is already gone. Over a month into this, we have had to pay for flights And hotels and gas and food and dozens of other things to keep friends and family close.
If you can help, please do. I can’t even begin to thank you enough for what you have done, but this road he and I are on has only just begun. If you can’t, that is okay. Your kind words have been a great comfort to all of us.
TJ
Sighs and Passes
Apparently a lot of the backstage passes I sent out didn’t arrive so I’m going to resend them.
Not super happy but mostly because they went out a while ago and should have gotten to every place already. So if you get two, smooches and I’m sorry 😀
Actually I’m sorry if you never got ONE. Growls. Really, dudes… so annoying.
TJ and Eric Update
Tj Klune updated his status: “Slept okay last night. Kept having dreams Eric and I were in an earthquake and survived and then there were wizards and something or some such. One more night of sleep and I go back tomorrow.
I feel better too, knowing that Abi and an Anon Crack Crew member are down there guarding him like they do so well. That being said, a neuro came in today and felt the need to go over the worst case scenario with Eric again (vent forever, not able to move arms and legs ever again). This of course freaked out Eric. I calmly told him when they called me that all we’ve heard is the “worst case scenario” this whole time and he’s alive with his brain intact and that wasn’t even supposed to happen, so fuck that guy, and fuck everyone who doesn’t believe.
But while I was reassuring him, thoughts kept playing over and over in my head. What IF he doesn’t get better? What IF he is paralyzed from the neck down and on a vent for the rest of his life, however long that would be? What IF, what IF, what IF?
I answered myself quite clearly: it won’t matter to me. I will take him anyway that I can get him. It doesn’t matter if he’ll come with a cane or with wheels and attached to a ventilator, every day we have is a day that I will love him just a little bit more.
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.”
Huh…
I needed inspiration for a story….
Rhys Ford 