Girl Scout Cookie Purchase… OR DONATION FOR THE TROOPS!

I HIGHLY endorse this Girl Scout and recommend you definitely go purchase some cookies!
 
 
I know I shall. And well, guest appearances from the Gruntster Pupper and the Baker Cat!

Examining 2019 and Looking Forward…

Wrote a long post then deleted it.
 
If you’re a close friend… (and I do try to be a very good friend), I value personal connection and support above all things.
People are either a close friend and understand how writing is a part of who I am and support my books and their purchase from whomever I pub with or they are someone I know. Or perhaps used to know. It hurts too much to try to work to maintain friendships with people who are actively turning their backs on me. So, I dunno. It tells me how much I matter.
 
2020 has to be a brutally honest with myself year. Some people don’t value my presence in their lives and I don’t think they should struggle to maintain that brittle, small-talk civility.
 
Because I suck at it.
 
The dog walker is coming and the trash truck is outside. I am hoping they’re gone before she gets here because he’s gonna lose his shit if he has to be walked next to a moving, growling, house sized vehicle.
 
This isn’t meant to be a “poor me” or emo post. It’s just… I need to work out some demons who are living rent free in my head. Newly moved in ones. Because God knows, I’ve already had a full belfry of bats there already.

Chinese Food and Holidays

Oddly enough, our traditional holiday meal on Christmas Day has ended up being Chinese from a family-owned place we’ve gone to for years. Today was no exception. The place was packed, not unusual but really packed which made things a bit crazy. Still, we ordered and talked and craned our necks to see if that was our food coming and dismissed the plates being carried out of the kitchen because there was too much green.

I’d forgotten to order veggies but to be fair, it wouldn’t have fit on the table and we were already having a buffet of meat. It was an old school dinner with char siu and bao, crispy roast pork (so good it can make someone from Singapore long for it), beef and daikon hot pot stew, beef chow fun dry style and walnut shrimp.

Oh and rice.

They apologized for the delay in getting food to the table. Dudes, there were like 200 people in that place and from the looks of things, lean on staff. It was way more busy than I’d seen it on Christmas. I mean it’s INSANE on New Years and Lunar New Year but still, this was insane.

It was worth it. Because the company was great. We got the Auntie to take the order of the people next to us because they’d been lost in the shuffle and they chose the duck which was a good choice because damn the duck there is good.

But there is only so much food you can eat. Even if you want all 225 items on the menu.

It’s great having company in and they brought a spare dog. Nadya is an older lady dog who seems to have taken to Gus and Gus in turn has taken to her. He’s been very polite to her and excited when she comes in. She’s no help against the Badger-menace but still, what is?

BUT still, we have had a miracle at our house. This…

All three animals. Within striking distance of each other. That they did themselves! And look how close Badger is to the dog! Okay to be fair, the dog was there first and the cats came by to lie down next to him, sending Gus the Dog into a panic attack but still, he sat there motionless until it became apparent he was in no danger.

Then he noped out of there before another picture could be taken.

So, today has been a good day. I only hope it has been for you and remember, practice self care which includes being nice to yourself. You’re worth that pause in the day and a deep cleansing breath. Drink your water. Tell yourself a joke. *hugs*

Merry Everything!

Canned Peas and Mayo

There are some people who are so very far away from the points I’ve been during my childhood. Being a thrown away kid is… you adapt to different things. You like odd things because that’s what you had. I folded some of that childhood into Miki’s experiences and I remember getting some reviews that were all… These kinds of things don’t happen.
 
Sadly, they do. BUT it was kind of heartening to see and know not everyone knew how any of it felt. Those were experiences they could never truly know. Because they’d been raised safe and loved.
 
Not everyone has been. And I never ever want to minimize or glorify the struggles of anyone coming up through the system or with crappy parents because there’s no… winning… in having a shitty upbringing. If anything, it’s sometimes harder to normalize yourself into what everyone else does.
 
I feel uncomfortable around happy families. It was always usually the jumping off point for a lot of pain and blood when things suddenly shifted to sweet-sweet-sweet. That was a trap. A lure to bring you in.
 
I love canned peas and mayo. I also love sliced up hot dogs with shoyu and a bit of sugar on rice. There are things I do that I know come from just adapting to what is there and doing what I can.
 
So, please keep in mind that when you see that 30 year old guy eating Captain Crunch and mayo sandwiches, he might be having a childhood meal he really enjoyed.
And yes, raw ramen noodles soaked in hot water are awesome… but being able to cook them is even better.
 

Spectrums and Rainbows… Or a source to help someone on the Spectrum cope with life…

* From Uncorked

As someone with Aspergers’ who fights like hell to “human” on a daily basis… and fucking hell does not succeed most of the time :D, I do want to ask you all… especially during the holidays… to reach out and check on the people in your life who are neuroatypical. AND REALLY… if they are kids.

 
It’s not only a struggle to work within the mirror maze of society and people but also with ourselves. It’s an invisible thing and it’s rare people around us adjust. We’re told to stop being eccentric, being too weird or to just get over it.
 
If you know of someone who is being shoved into a box of someone else’s making, please see what you can do to help. Sometimes it’s just even listening. Or standing up for that person’s right to exist as best they can.
 
It’s a Rabbit Hole here, Alice… and it doesn’t seem to end.
 

Words. And how we use them to “see” skin colour in a book…

I am reading a mystery series. Or at least finished the first book in the series. Now, I’m going to start this by saying I enjoyed the book a LOT. I’ve been reading a lot of “mainstream” mysteries of late because they keep my brain engaged and I’m writing an urban fantasy so there won’t be any “voice leak” into what I’m scribbling down.

I mean I really was enjoying the book, reading along and liking the construct of the main character when a single phrase kind of brought me to a screeching halt…

“…skin stained a dark brown…”

This was used to describe a person of colour, someone of East Asian descent.

stained.

I’m not going to go on an outraged rant about this. Instead, I want to have a discussion. Because people can’t seem to grasp the concept of talking on social media so I’m stating this clear and loud at the beginning of this. Because stuff like this is complex in some ways… but simple in others.

I will continue to read the series. I like the author’s phrasing and work. Do I think an editor should have flagged this word? Yeah. Do I think anyone actually saw it? See, that’s the question… do you see the words? Do you hear yourself say the things you say? Do you see the ripples they cause? Do you care?

I am going to assume it was a word flourish that was simply used. No malevolent intent just… a word. But it kind of says a lot to someone who might not be that “default” because stained has some burdens behind it. From being dirty to altered from its natural state.

My own skin colour changes often. My base is definitely darker than porcelain and if I’m in direct sun for more than half an hour, I can kiss my foundation level goodbye. I have been driving up the SoCal coast and said to my passengers, “If we don’t make a left turn soon, my left arm’s going to be five shades darker than my right.”

But I never thought of myself as stained. And neither do I want to. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like they were stained away from a pure colour or dirtied because of their skin tone.

So, I will definitely watch the words I choose and ask my editors to do so as well. Small shifts mean a great deal to acceptance and tolerance. As does talking about it.

credit to angelica dass

The End of the Year and the Beginning of the New One

We will be celebrating the Year of the Rat in 2020, a good year for fortune and prosperity. And it’s a good year to look at where you are in life and where you are going.

We are also saying goodbye to a year of turmoil and strife as well. Hopefully going forward, this will subside but really sometimes in order to do this, we must take action.

Like voting for people who will represent us well as well as promoting those who support us, even in times of need. Or rather especially in times of need. I am very close to severing a long-held friendship over what’s been happening this year and have already distanced myself from people who have chosen to not support me. It’s sad in so many ways because I’ve stood by and supported them through some sticky things but often, in times of strife, people are tested and well, we all make choices we want to live with.

I do want to say thank you to all of the readers who have reached out and sent me encouragements and support this year. You guys rock and honestly, make the world a better place. In reality, when everything is all said and done, I’m here to write books. And to entertain someone reading it. That’s my focus. And that’s where I’m going to put my energies.

As well as heavily supporting the people and sites who support me. It’s a symbiotic relationship because while I never ever want to influence a review (that should be sacrosant) I do want to be able to provide a blog site’s visitors with a good reason to visit and continue to visit. Because well, the best (and worst) part about writing books is sometimes doing a blog tour.

Because blog tours are hard to create! They are! But oh, I have plans….

The first book up this year is Back in Black (DSP, Amazon).  With the return of Cole and Jae, I jumped forward a few years and well, it was necessary to do so. When I first started writing the McGinnis/Kim series, marriage was still denied to anyone not in a het relationship and we were just beginning to explore the edges of alternative sexualities’ language. By the end of the series, Bobby and Ichi were married and the world was a very different place.

I needed to capture that change in the books going forward in the McGinnis Investigation series and that meant jumping to the now. But in doing so, that meant I was going to end up skipping writing about an important event in Cole and Jae’s lives… their wedding.  I haven’t decided on the tone of the wedding… if it’s going to be a typical Cole day or just something sweet. I mean, doesn’t Jae deserve something sweet for his wedding day? A day without shotgun blasts or car chases?

I’ll be doing a few posts and I’m hopefully going to get it done in time for Greg to narrate the pieces for each blog spot. There will also be a big giveaway at each stop, kind of like a wedding present, to celebrate Jae finally getting to the altar and hopefully with Cole in one piece.

Let me know what you think. A typical Cole day? Or a sweet romantic wedding?

The Wrong Kind of… Attention. Or Sidestepping a Wankfest.

There is such a thing as social sadism.
 
You all have seen it. Probably experienced it.
 
It’s when someone acid-vomits stuff all over you and when you call them out on it, they go all innocent and act the victim.
 
Then shout out loudly that you’re abusing them and won’t OTHER people come save them from you.
 
It’s become very common lately.
 
But here’s the thing… you don’t owe anyone anything. Not even your time. Not even your typing.
 
It might hurt. Especially if you’d considered them your friend or if you’ve reached out to them in the past to help them when they’re down or broke.
 
That won’t matter to them. All that matters is the “rush” they feel when they’re trying to hurt you and get other people to cheer them on while doing it.
 
It’s hard. I know. Ignoring someone you once thought of as a friend is… painful. But if they’re stabbing at you just to see you bleed, then they never were your friend. Simple a tick that hadn’t yet sunk its teeth into your flesh.
 
Spend today remembering to be the best person you can be. Be the person you want to be. Be the person you’d want to know.
 
Give yourself a compliment. Find something you like about yourself. And remember, you don’t have to walk into someone else’s social kink parlour simply because they left the door open.