Well, truthfully, oftentimes this is just author behaving like a human being.
See, writers are flawed creatures. Just like everyone else. And perhaps more so because they get this insane idea to scribble down the shit flowing around their brains and then present it out to the world to read.
For praise or savaging. We have no control over which. It’s a crap shoot. And sometimes it’s just crappy.
Other times, it’s not.
Yeah, there are times when I want to take a fork to someone’s eye. Most of the time it’s because rising to the top of the sewage are obvious sock puppets. And it’s a pity when someone actually draws a mouth on a sock puppet because it can blather on like no one’s business. The internet is a giant anonymous pool. It allows all sorts of bottom feeders the cover to chew off people’s toes.
See thing is, it’s not just authors these people chew on. It’s kind of everyone. Kind of like psychological serial killers who masturbate to the thought of their words hurting someone.
See all that up there? It’s bitter and foul. So steeped in bitter it’s like a tea bag left in a glass of water for a week. Water’s all dried up and there’s this thick black sludge left at the bottom. Not very healthy to drink. And sure as hell not healthy to produce.
Here’s the thing…bad reviews suck. Sometimes people suck. And no amount of praise is going to alleviate the crappy feeling of someone purposely reaching out to stab you in the brain or heart… pretty fork notwithstanding.
I can’t tell you the forking isn’t going to hurt. It is. Hell, I’ve got people who seem to make a point of reading my books just so they can smear shit over what I’ve written. I’d like to tell you I’m over it. Mostly now I sigh and say… oh look, it’s them again. Don’t they have something else to do?
Thing is, they don’t.
But you do.
Get out of that space. Fast. Don’t take it with you. Don’t carry that person’s shit. I’m not saying drink from the bucket of magic Kool-Aid where you’re a fantastic person and everyone loves you. That’s not a realistic POV either. That kind of shit leads to places like North Korea or bouncers looking for a piece of ass on a Friday night. Don’t be that person.
Try to find that steady happy medium. Okay maybe a medium large. Skew the needle over to the Kool-Aid rather than the sludge ‘cause here’s the big thing—you wrote a book, you expressed an emotion, you succeeded at something important to you, or you just were reaching out to see if anyone saw or heard you.
That’s a good thing. Celebrate your accomplishment. Hell, celebrate your fucking existence because really, the chances of you being you were really damned slim. You were the sperm that hit the egg. Yeah, there were countless others but you started life as the winner. Doesn’t matter how, you got there. You fucking got in there.
So here’s to you. Screw the other wiggly bits behind you. You’ve made it. And went even further. Do good with that. Compliment someone. Hold the door open and don’t expect a thank you but say you’re welcome if you get one. Most of all, smile because you’ve won your first ever race. The biggest race. The one that counted. Big fucking prize you get for participating in that race.
And as for the rest of it, we’re all going to behave badly sometimes. What matters is whether or not we continue to do so. So for right now… enjoy the sunrise. Count some clouds. Listen to an hour of your very favourite songs. Then go forth and keep accomplishing shit. Be they small or large.
Just celebrate. And don’t forget to take your dishes to the sink.
You are a far better person than some of those ignorant idiots out there. I’m absolutely amazed and gobsmacked that anyone would or could write a bad review of your fantastic work. Much love and admiration to my favourite author
Thank you, sweetie but really, I KNOW my books aren’t for everyone. Hell, my mom won’t read them but that’s ’cause they have male bits. *grins* Bad review are par for the course and hopefully good ones too. It’s just one of those things. *grins* Smooches.
Hear, hear! Negativity is so tiresome but it seems to be the prevailing wind of the times. It takes these explicit reminders for us to keep enjoying the day, our lives while the “haters” are lost in the sea of sludge. It seems destruction is the only thing these ‘people’ know how to do. My question is when do they have the time? There are not enough hours in the day for me and I don’t work. 😉
I’d like eight more hours 🙂
Ya can’t ever let the assholes win. If their nastiness sticks to you and dims your shine everyone loses. Besides, anybody who deliberately spends their time cutting down other people is in such a bad place, they are pitiable. We love your work and you more than just a little. *hugs*
Stuff happens. Mostly it is ok but I do see some people get hurt and that makes me sad.
Amen!
Kool-Aid!
Thanks for the post – so much truth in it. I know that it is often difficult to overcome one piece of negativity even with a load of positivity. But, I LOVE your books. Currently reading Ink and Shadows and it is fantastic.
I’m glad you like it. It was my… iffy book. If you finish it and like it, please leave it some love 😀 Poor book. Heh. But it was fun to write. A good stretch, you know?
Finished Ink and Shadows this morning. Loved it and shared the love on goodreads and Amazon. I sure hope you will write the next one soon.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1278781248
Awwww thank you. Heh. I have one planned. Well, it’s in the queue. 😀 Smoooches and hugs!
Well expressed….dont get those haters.
People are odd 😀
Ever since I started doing reviews for TNA, I hate giving a bad one. So I always look for what I did like. What I may not like someone else might. But I respect every author out there because they have accomplished something that I haven’t. Hell, I have a hard enough time writing reviews. Dictionary is my best friend now. If I’m that disappointed with a particular author then I just stop reading their books. If those idiots want to keep torturing themselves, let them have at it! Are they spending their money to buy the books that they rag on? If so, now who’s the “idiot”? That’s got to be someone who’s a waste of space!
Tell your Mom to just try and read one book. Skip over the “male bit parts”. Ha!
You are a terrific person and a great author! You have to many fans to worry about the ignorant haters!
I’m okay with my mom not reading my books. Really. I respect her preferences and don’t want her to feel like she HAS to read my stuff. It’s okay for her to say no, not for me. Really.
Ah, usually those people don’t buy a book. They get them from blogs, other people or recently from netgalley. I wished they’d buy them then I’d be all.. it’s all good, I shall donate the money I got from your royalty to someone who needs it 😀
WHAT??? Are you saying they get the book for FREE!!!! WTF!!!! They have NO right to complain!
Yep, a lot of them do. Like I said, it’s just one of those things you’ve gotta roll with 😀
I’ve never understood the attraction of being cruel just to be an asshole. Apparently some people get off on it. And I agree – don’t they have anything better to do? I take all reviews with a grain of salt. Not everyone’s tastes are the same and I get irritated whith reviews that are so obviously asinine dribble. I wait very impatiently for everyone of your new releases and don’t need to see or care about what the reviews are. I love them all.
Thank you. Now really, I do know I’m not for everyone. And that’s okay *grins* I’m glad you like them. *hugs*
Reblogged this on eileengriffin and commented:
I love this so hard. Every. Single. Word.
xoxoxoxox
So graphic lol and good advice.
Very little bodily fluids! SO little.
Inspirational and uplifting, if that doesn’t sound to suck-up-y! It must be hard for authors to read some of the crap the Band of Losers likes to pour all over them sometimes – I can’t even take negative remarks about my opinions, I’d never take negative reviews on the chin. (I’m not talking about someone’s genuine “it’s not for me” remarks, that’s just an opinion based on their taste. I mean the gratuitously nasty, vicious comments designed to belittle and hurt.)
You’re one of the few authors I buy sign unseen, and there isn’t a book of yours I haven’t enjoyed. I love your people, and reading your books takes me out and away from what I have to deal with each day. Thank you. And keep writing. Please.
For the most part, I’m pretty teflon. I do get all… muttery fuck you sometimes but after a few grumbles I move on and get some coffee 😀
I actually never kill off anyone real. If I’m going to kill someone, there’d best be blood splatter I can feel across my face.
*Hugs*
Love your viewpoint on this. Helps to not not get bogged down in the crap other people drop. Yep! People are freaking weird & I don’t always get their motivation, but that’s the thing…you try to follow their process & the next thing you know you are neck deep in yuck. So I try to just ignore the haters.
For those brave enough to write & share what is in their head & hearts I can’t imagine having to cope with people who just tear down your babies😕
Definitely ignore people who are just trying to extinuguis you. So not worth your time. *hugs*
You basically said what I’ve been thinking for a long time. When someone is being deliberately mean, it’s hard to understand why. That kind of negative thinking is like acid in your life. It eats away all the light and the goodness around you until you’re left empty and hollow. Life is way too short to let that kind of thing take over. Love, laugh and be happy. Best response ever.
Oh life is way too short. 😀
You’re a class act, and I like or love every word I’ve read that you’ve written. Blog included. **Fangirl for life…even when you scare me into the fetal position**
Thanks for this post. While there’s no excuse for reviewers being nasty or baiting and trolling, retaliation by authors leaves a worse taste in my mouth than the bad review or a bad book.
We should all remember our manners. But the difference is the author is selling a product and, especially with interacting on social media, there’s a matter of a public image to uphold. Sometimes silence, a shot of tequila, and writing a sex scene or killing off a character in your next book is the best strategy. The trolls will eventually self-destruct or slither away, and your fans will continue to sing your praises.
Got a few bad reviews? Rise above. Learn something if there’s something to learn. Don’t engage with bottom feeders. But more than anything, keep writing. You’re doing something that other people likely don’t have the courage, talent, or imagination to do. If you’re really discouraged, take a look at the rating stats of Gone With the Wind, the Holy Bible, or any book on the NY Times list of Top 100 books of all time. Then get busy writing that next book!
Silly thing. Oh… wait till you read the next Hellsingers. I am so excited to write it. *grins* mauhahahahah. And yeah, manners. Some people be needing them. *HUGS* smooches.
It’s impossible to please anyone all the time, but if someone is NEVER pleased, that says more abiut them than anything else.
That being said, I auto-buy your books EVERY. TIME. Because even if it doesn’t end up being my favorite, there’s always something that strikes me, or amuses me, or makes me think (or cry). So get down with your bad self, because you’ve got a gift I’m so thrilled to have discovered. And let’s be real….85% of what you right ends up as a personal favorite, which is a fracking amazing success rate. So cheers!
Can we all pretend I didn’t type “right” instead of “write”? That’d be great. Kthxbai.
Aw thank you. *hugs* And I do that ALL the time 😀
Big hugs to you. Love your writing and am so glad you are willing to share it with us. Keep it up and ignore the haters.
Smooches and hugs.
I am a relative newcomer to your work. I love it. And will continue to read all that I can get my hands on. It is beautifully crafted, engaging and is teaching me so much. And I am 76! Still learning. My heart bleeds for you that people who should know better can be so mean. Please don’t let the bastards grind you down.
And keep those *grins* coming.
I’m doing okay. A lot of times I’m all… huh, well then 😀 And thank you! I am so glad you like the books. Truly, I just want you to be entertained. *HUGS*
I think there is a useful place for critics. They can help us to do better. But therein lies a serious, enormous really, responsibility. That is to be constructive. If they cannot be constructive, they are just showing off. Also showing their own flaws.
Any glint of brutality is just a magnifier of those flaws.
Not your problem (even ‘though it causes pain)
Constructive… hell yeah, bring that on 😀 *grins*
I don’t know if it helps but as a reader I look at reviews more like a “huh, I loved it, what’s up with them?” or a “YES! That’s what I felt” thing. Not as a guide to buying a book. And if I don’t know anything about a book or author other than the blurb then I definitely don’t judge by reviews unless they are predominantly trigger warnings (‘cos I do have some I like to be prepped for).
Triggers are weird and well, delicate. Like in Sinner’s Gin, I needed to convey Miki’s childhood without actually describing it. *grins* Same with Parker in Whiskey and Wry. Nothing happens on the page. But it’s the aftermath that should be horrific. I figure if you all have fun reading the book, then we’re good. *grins*
I’ve read some really stupid reviews and some really mean reviews. Not sure of the motivation other than they can. It really costs nothing to be nice. However, those being mean or cruel will get snapped back at some point and wonder ‘What did I do to deserve this?’
I try to be nice in reviews. Because I read a hell of a lot too. Really. And it’s not just reviews, it’s just every day things. *grins* Be excellent to each other kind of life 😀
Hisses to the naysayers ’cause YOU Rock! I love(and own) all of your books & buy any anthologies that you are in simply because you are you. Have I mentioned that you ROCK! And because you said so, I took my dishes to the sink before I wrote this.
Thank you and smooches. Really, the dishes thing is very important 😀
I can’t understand people that spew hate, they must not be loved or feel love to only express hateful anger. How can they not realize that they are just showing others how pitiful they are? It truly boggles me. I’m sorry you felt the need to write it but it was wonderfully inspiring, a positive note for the end of the day. I absolutely adore that you are one to “scribble down the shit flowing around their brains”. I bow, hand over heart and say thank you.
Most of this comes from just reading some reviews left for authors and hearing what some people deal with. And ah, brain vomit. So much brain vomit. 😀 Smooches 😀
Just sending you Love because that’s all I’ve got… there is truth in your words!!! xoxo
Love is always good and smooooooooches.
Great post, and shared on FB etc, because i know something Sharing, because I
Too have had that sickening feeling when so-called reviewers do a hatchet job (in my case possibly because I didn’t take them up on an ‘offer’ to beta my work), and feel helplessly shackled, because any response is instantly labelled as author behaving badly even when the ‘reviewer’ is a misogynist bully. Thank you for this. It helps.
Sigh. And can I apologise for the odd editing! I meant to delete some words but the on screen keyboard on the iPad always defeats me. Hate Apple somedays…
Most reviewers are very nice and sweet, even if they don’t like a book. Please don’t feel bad when people are trash trolls. It’s not you. It’s them. *hugs*
Thank you for writing this. I hope your fellow authors will take heed. No matter how many reviews I write, I will never be able to overcome that one bad one. By bad, I mean a review that is destructive, cruel, and meant to harm rather than be constructive.
The internet is a breeding ground of trolls. The anonymity allows them to spew any crap that they wish. To me these folks suffer from good old jealousy and a need to be “king of the mountain” or in this case “trash heap”. Sad desperate people use any means possible to bolster their sagging self esteem. In this case, trashing books. As Lydgate and Lincoln said, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.
We would have nothing in this world, if artists allowed critics to stop them from creating.
It’s difficult because people agonize over things. We do! No matter what. Even writing an email. 😀 We have to remember that we’re okay. And We’ll be okay. 😀 *hugs*
I’m supposed to take my dishes to the sink!!! *looks guiltily at cup collection*
You go put those cups up, missy!
Over the years I’ve lost my “give a sh*t” about what other people think and just tune out the “whine”…
Either I’ve just gotten old, or tired, or both…. but I did buy a colouring book… so maybe not too old 🙂
colouring books are lovely.