By request…

Okay. Let’s talk fried rice.

You’re going to need a few things.

1. Rice. (2 C cooked) (and preferably from last night but… make sure it’s cool and a bit dry at least)

Calrose is preferable but really any rice will do. Cook it. I prefer a rice cooker but some people use a pot on the stove. Whatever works for you. Make 2-3 cups. Cooked cups. Not raw. You’re not making sushi for the masses. For this recipe, let’s go with 2 cups.

2. Eggs. (2 beaten well with a little water till frothy)

Rule of thumb, one per cup. Or two per one cup if you like eggy rice.

3. Veggies. (1 cup)

This can be anything. Most common are frozen peas or peas/carrots. You don’t need to cook them. Put them in a sieve or colander and run them under hot water. Drain well. Any kind of veggie will do. Mixed veggies are nice. Frozen is a good in a pinch kind of thing.

4. Green onions or regular onions (minced)

Maybe two handfuls.

5. Seasoning: Soy Sauce, salt, pepper, garlic powder or minced garlic.

Optional things: Bean sprouts, water chestnuts, bacon (fried crispy), shrimp, chicken. Cook the meat before you put it into the rice. This is where you can customize things. You don’t have to do the same thing over and over. Hell, you can even add some curry powder to it and toss in some pineapple for thai pineapple fried rice. But let’s stick with the basics for right now.

Steps:

Add soy sauce to cooked rice and mix well. The rice should end up looking like a dirty blend. Don’t make it soup. Just add enough to colour the rice.

Get a skillet or frying pan. Add oil. It doesn’t matter what kind of oil. Sesame is nice but hell, plain vegetable is fine. I’m not a big fan of butter here but that’s ‘cause butter and fried rice are a bit odd but hey, it’s your fried rice. Use what you’ve got.

Get the skillet hot—maybe a medium-high heat. When it is hot, spread the rice around the skillet until it’s all in there.

Now comes the hard part.

DO NOTHING. Really. Don’t touch it. Leave it like that for a few minutes. This will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your entire life. You will WANT to turn it over. You will WANT to mix it. Resist. Resist HARD.

After four to five minutes, pour the egg evenly over the top of the rice so it is spread throughout.

AGAIN DO NOTHING. You can do this. Really. Trust me. I have faith.

Let the egg sit and cook for a bit. This will be another two to three minutes or so. When you see the egg firming up, it’s time to turn the rice. Just take a spatula and turn it gently. Mix in up a bit.

You will see a crackle on your rice. This is a good thing. You WANT this crackle. If the rice is wet, let it sit a bit more until the egg cooks and firms. When this happens, it’s time to add the salt, pepper, garlic and the veggies—and anything else you want.

Do not stir often. Just flip it over in chunks a few times. When the rice, veggies and everything else is steaming hot, serve. Do not burn your mouth.

This should take you about ten minutes to cook from when the rice hits the skillet to the addition of the veggies. Experiment with what you’d like in there or learn what works for you. Really fried rice is kind of a what’s in the fridge kind of dish. The basics are eggs, rice and seasonings. Everything else is just bonus.