I admit. I’m a geek. I even periodically whimper in shame at my geekery.

This time… I laughed. Like OHMYFRICKINGGOD died laughing. THEN I whimpered. And sniggered.

Why blog?

Okay, there’s a lot of dos and don’ts about being an author. Most of them come off like advice from used cars salesmen. You hear shit like maximize exposure, cross-promotional streaming and all sorts of buzzwords that pretty much boil down to getting into people’s faces and piss them off. Because they’re SICK of seeing you.

Is there a fine balance between getting word out that you’re an author and moving up into someone’s asshole so every time they fart, you’ve attached a balloon to the gas with streamers shouting your name? Yes. There certainly is.

I just haven’t found it yet.

To be honest, I’m a pretty crass person. Or so I think. I look at people who can pull themselves together on a daily basis and wonder how the hell do they do that? I was a grubby little child and I feel like I’m a grubby round adult. I bathe. Every day. *grins* But you know, there’s a certain amount of emotional grub that just doesn’t seem to wash off. And getting up into someone’s face feels like I’m just smearing it around someone else.

So promotions? Yeah, I have to do them if I want people to read what I write. I have to twitter and blog. Because part of being a writer is being an author… and that’s where the writing stops and the hawking begins.

Now if you’ve ever been to a big mall, you’ve seen the phone kiosks where a bunch of douche-bag sales people who aren’t old enough to cut their own toenails try to sell you a phone service. There was a time when these ill-mannered asshats would call out to people as they walked by… like people were chattel to be herded in. They were taught that they needed to get the passer-bys’ attention no matter what. It’s like listening to a cesspool of bullies trying to chum the waters with blood they scraped off the lunchroom lady.

That’s what promoting my books feels like to me.

It could be a cultural thing. We’re taught not to shout out our accomplishments. Trust me, it’s ingrained at an early age. It feels WRONG to scream LOOK AT ME! Sure, the ego strokes are nice but oh, it’s a dangerous thing to fall into. Massive egos and bitterness are fed from compliments. Promoting a book feels like that. It does.

So how to balance out what I feel about promotions with what I should be doing as an author. Let’s face it, if no one knows that I have stuff out there, no one will read it. And if no one reads my stuff, the future stuff doesn’t get bought. But let’s face it, how many times have you been on Twitter, Facebook or Goodreads and said “God, I wish this author’s fingers were broken so I don’t see them “chat me up” any more?

I’ve made a deal with myself. I’ll do promos but I’ll try to do them my way. I’ll retweet reviews, which is kind of silly now that I think about it because people who are following me ALREADY read my books but hey, let’s go with that for right now. I’ll blog a bit about writing but let’s face it. It’s pretty fricking boring to listen to me talk about my writing process. If you all have any questions about anything, I figure you’d ask me. I probably will answer anything you ask me. Honestly. Openly. Unless you ask me why Ben shot Cole and Rick. Out of luck there.

I’ll post excerpts. And I’ll probably post swearing comments about how a fucking book isn’t going anywhere because damn it my brain isn’t working. This happens more than I care for but it’s a part of writing.

There will be posts about music, food and other sundry items in my life because hey, I find odd things interesting and I’ll share them in case you need something to gloss over while you drink your morning coffee.

So I’ll say here, if ever I start tipping over to the carnival sideshow hawking, kick me. Deal? ‘Cause dudes, I know better.

Okay, back to Whiskey and Wry. I finally found the beginning point of the story. But oh, that’s another blog. About writing shit. Process, yeah whatever.*grins*