The Borking Report for 11 Nov

Today’s Borking Report:
I worked remotely today because the pain along my lower quarters was fairly substantial, promising to bring me a very long agony and it’s nice that my body communicates this with me. I mean, imagine if your innards didn’t give you a flash stabbing attack at three in the morning just to tell you… AND THERE IS MORE WHERE THIS CAME FROM!
Like pancakes, the first one is the ugliest but the others get fluffier and rounder as time goes by. Which is a lie because it’s NOTHING like pancakes. But I digress. This isn’t about me. This is about Gus the Potato Cairn.
And today’s adventure of… I DON’T WANNA WAKE UP.
His Auntie Jessica pinged early that she was taking him. Around 8:30ish or so. Thing is, he didn’t wake up when I woke up at 5 and go outside so he needed to pee. Which meant he DID NOT want to get dressed. Then he needed to get redressed because the grey hoodie really is too small for him and in protest of being undressed and redressed, he twisted around so the harness didn’t fit him. I pulled him over… BECAUSE HE WAS A DEAD WEIGHT… fixed the harness and his response was to flop over dramatically and lie there with his four feet up in the air.
Like a full cairn temper tantrum.
After some coaxing, I unclipped his leash (we leave it on the harness to make it easier to dress him) and told him to go outside and pee. Which he acted like I was doing him a favour by doing this. He peed, came back inside so I could put the leash back on him and once again, DRAMATICALLY flopped over.
By this time, I went back to work and wasn’t paying attention to his little acts of gothy attitude. When his Aunt Jessica arrived, he decided to be a sullen asshole for a bit then remembered SHE hadn’t woken him up so it was okay to be happy to see her.
And proceeded to scold and scold all the way down the sidewalk. There were workmen next door so they had to be reprimanded and then he had to talk about how shitty of a mommy I am by insisting he wake up and that his Auntie Jessica was the only one who really mattered in the world because she loved him.
Never mind I pay her to be the Potato’s friend.
Actually while we pay the service, she is very protective of the Potato and he is HER pupper. When she went up to her parents’ house in OC for a few months, she would come down on the weekends to visit her boyfriend and arrive early on Friday to walk the Potato and then again on Monday before she drove up the coast. His Auntie Jessica loves her Potato. And he does adore her.
Much more than he loved anyone in the house today but Borking is good for the Potato. And he did remember he loved it once he hit the sidewalk.
From his Auntie Jessica:
Gus had a lot to say today!! He pooped on the grass too like a good boy. I hope he gets plenty of rest. Have a good weekend!

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