Adulting Up Today And Shutting Down The Cancel Culture

Adulting Up Today

I’ve got a lot of stuff to do and in the middle of this tussle between opinions about one thing or another, I’m finding myself drifting away from the things I NEED to be doing. Yeah, I’ve been sick and I am a horrible patient when sick. I know this about myself. I just want to burrow down under the covers, sip hot sweet black tea with Chinese lemon peel in it and growl when the mailman is too loud delivering mail. But sadly, that’s not possible in my world.

Because no one’s going to pay my rent but me.

I’ve said my piece about where I stand on the state of my publisher and have been consistent in my message of One Size Does Not Fit All with regards to what I am choosing and what other people choose to do. I encourage people to look at their contracts, decide what’s best for them and do what they need to do for themselves. I even support them in that if their choices are different from mine. Because you know, that’s the adulting part of adulthood. It’s okay if someone doesn’t like coffee and likes tea instead. It doesn’t change what’s in my cup.

But what I’ve been seeing out in social media is a call to ‘cancel’ people who disagree with different authors regarding a variety of things.

This is different from boycotting a product for social awareness. Keep that in mind. They are two very different things. One is about affecting change for societal growth and the other is about punishing an individual or company who is conducting their own personal business as best they can.

Canadian journalist, Connor Garel described cancel culture as a ‘makeshift digital contract wherein people loosely agree not to support a person (especially economically) in order to somehow deprive them of their livelihood’.

This is usually a call to action done by a person or a group of people with the intent of harming someone’s income or influence. Usually it’s done by spreading rumours and harmful misinformation based on speculation or even malcontent. Pretty much Heathers, Mean Girls, and Cruel Intentions plots in digital form. Now this isn’t to say someone doesn’t have a justified ill feeling towards someone or something for one thing or another. What is wrong is when someone says; this person disagrees with me so I’m going to use my influence with people to punish them because they disagree with me. That’s when it gets into fuckery.

Here’s the thing… I’m going to disagree with people. I am. And they might even come after me, trying to diminish my opinion just because it’s not in line with theirs and even attack me personally, which has happened over the past week. But keep in mind one thing, I will never ever say someone is wrong for disagreeing with my take on something just because what I choose to do isn’t something they want to do.

While I have no intention of standing for someone talking crap about or to me, I usually try to respond in a rational way because let’s face it, that behaviour is on them. Not me. I’m not the one to shame my ancestors by being an asshole.

But what I would like all of you to do is to not engage in attacking other people on my account.

Please.

Do not participate in the ‘cancel culture’ mentality. Definitely investigate and examine all perspectives if you feel there’s a topic you feel strong about but lashing out at people isn’t good. Please.

It’s not good for your guts or your mind. Shit like that becomes habit and then you’re just constantly looking for fights to feed that adrenaline you get when fighting. It becomes a mad dog thing where you need that toxic rush and the bitterness of it all. Yeah, zen might not get your blood pumping but it also doesn’t fuck up your brain and change how you treat people.

It’s like that thing people do…and it’s something I hate… where they constantly put down people as a ‘joke’ and pass it off as teasing but man, all it does it make them feel good about getting one over on someone and makes the other person feel like shit. It feeds a ravenous arrogance and sadistic pleasure point in the brain at the expense of someone’s id.

It’s a toxic behaviour and degrades people’s humanity. Not good for our social environment, like random rotting plastic masses in our collective ocean.

So I ask you, please… do not do this. Because I like you as you are. Someone who’d feed a hungry puppy or go back and hold a door open for an older person struggling to get into a building.

I do have to adult up today. There’s so much I’ve got to do and it’s silly but stuff’s gotta stuff. Hopefully I can get my plate cleared off so I can watch some TV tonight and maybe even coax the dog into a game of ball in the back yard.

Go out today and do good. Take a break and enjoy who you are. Seriously, sit down and think about the person you are and your good qualities. Embrace them. Celebrate them.

Because I sure as hell do.

12 thoughts on “Adulting Up Today And Shutting Down The Cancel Culture

  1. Elf Vinson

    You are an amazing person and I respect you for standing your ground with grace and understanding 💐

  2. Eric Alan Westfall

    Rhys,

    What an absolutely brilliant piece of writing.

    (Please consider that sentence to have been written in a fancy font in a very large size, followed by several dozen exclamation points for the purpose of emphasizing I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, an Eric-Rhys-reader’s faithful, 100 percent. *g*)

    Insightful and unfortunately so very, very necessary to be said in this digital day and age.

    Thank you.

    Eric

  3. Pingback: Adulting Up Today And Shutting Down The Cancel Culture — Rhys Ford | KC Faelan

  4. H.B.

    People on social media has gotten a bit out of hand the last few weeks I’ve noticed between the thing with reviews and authors, the thing with DSP (which to me doesn’t sound too out there with small/big business and invoicing..you do have to literally chase people down for what you’re owed when dealing with third parties and things do get lost in transit) and just people attack others for their shared opinion/belief.

    Thank you for the post on cancel culture, I saw an article about it several months ago. John Oliver also did similar segment involving Public Shaming. I respect your stance and for sticking with your publisher as I do those who felt wronged by this. I just wished people didn’t feel they had to go on the attack about it because they don’t share your same thoughts on the matter.

    1. Yeah everyone really has to make their own choices regarding their own business and it can be TOTALLY different from mine and that’s okay. 😀 I don’t get the attacking either but hey, I dunno. 😀

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