Being a writer…

Actually I don’t really have any words of advice for anyone being a writer. Not like, real words. I have fake words. Most of everything writers do is fake. Let’s face it, we’re lying. We are lying to you and hoping you spend a part of your working wage to pay us for that lie. So it better be a good fricking lie. Or at least that’s my opinion.

I am asking you to pay me a gallon and a half of gas to read my lies. Well, that’s Southern California gas which is actually more expensive than my mother’s Hawai‘i gas but she wouldn’t buy my books so I’m not going to get any money there. The content isn’t for her. I’m good with that. I respect her line in the sand. I know she loves me but really, she doesn’t want to pay for my lies. Of course, she really doesn’t have to. I’d send them to her for free.

Advice for writers, just write. Really. Don’t let anyone tell you that you suck. You might suck. But that’s not really the point. The writing is the point.

However, if you want to suck less, I would suggest plotting a little bit. At least break it down to chapters. And oh, assign a time period to those chapters so you can see where your character’s day went. That is an almighty important thing. You’d be surprised at how many authors pile all of their events into one day. Their poor character would drop from exhaustion.

Learn how to pace. That’s also important. Really decide if it’s important for your audience to hear about how he chose the wine and its history because I can tell you, I’m gonna skip it. I don’t care. I want to hear about how he’s going to get over his fight with his sister and what to do with that body in the fridge. Just because you do a hell of a lot of research, doesn’t mean you should use it. Use knowledge sparingly. Emotion, use that the fucking hell and gone. Sprinkle that shit liberally. We eat that shit up.

If you’re going to lie for a living, add flavour. And depending on the genre, you can pile it on. Of course, you’re going to get detractors and people calling you out for things that you say to yourself; really? Trust me on that one. I had one person say they hated that some of my Asian characters say no or yes at the end of their talking because that’s just so typical in writing. Sad thing is, I do say no and yes at the end of things sometimes. It’s not a stereotype, we actually say it. More for a courtesy, I think. To allow the speaker to save face and disagree. But we do say it. Some of my friends also use the word la at the end of their sentences. It’s just how people speak.

Now mind you, I’m not going to write a full Scottish cant in a character. There’s only so much flavour you can add without falling into an rendition of Trainspotting but flavour is definitely good.

I do need to start Dirty Laundry, the next Cole and Jae book. It’s been plotted out but oh, I ran errands today so this is my sum total for the job at hand. I obviously need to learn to lie a bit more productively. ::::grins:::

2 thoughts on “Being a writer…

  1. Patricia Grayson

    Dialogue: the fun part. Plotting: the uphill slog. Thanks for your insight. And awaiting your next cooked meal!

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