Changes in Facilities’ Management

Please be aware of the changes to the Cabin when preparing for your next visit. There is now a fairly substantial bathroom tax that must be rendered appropriately for the duration of at least one minute following passing through the threshold.

If the tax collector is accepting payments at the time of your visit, you will be notified by the continuing undulating siren followed by an aggressive weaving motion towards you. It is recommended that all sojourns to the facilities include enough time allowance for this payment.

Payment can include the retrieval of the tax collector from the floor followed by a cradling and scritching of the collector’s head. Floor-based ear scritching is accepted but the full payment is preferred. Tail base scritching is also acceptable payment but must be accompanied by chin rubs in order to fulfill financial obligations.

Payments should continue until tax collector renders a full payment has been submitted. The payee will mark the end of payment by the subtle application of the tax collector’s double punch fang marks on their hand. Please be advised, at times the collector may return for further payment after first installment has been rendered if said collector is not satisfied once departing the facility. Should this occur following the closing of the facility door, it is recommended the user remove any appendages (including feet) from the bottom of the door as further collection may occur while occupied.

By posting this notice, Cabin Management is not responsible for any injuries inflicted to user of facilities by any third-party vendor used to collect and receive appropriate payment for facility use.

11 thoughts on “Changes in Facilities’ Management

  1. Adrianna Lillian Jackson

    “By posting this notice, Cabin Management is not responsible for any injuries inflicted to user of facilities by any third-party vendor used to collect and receive appropriate payment for facility use.” So injuries aquired in service is not cover by Health Care?

  2. Sharon Leahy

    Glorious, laughing out loud here … the two tax collectors I live with are voyeurs, and are satisfied by being allowed to watch, however, they each make comment on the technique I display on the throne by going to their throne nee litter box and demonstrating their personal techniques for use and thus entertainment of viewers. The family that ___’s together, stays together.

  3. Kat

    One tax collector is a new hire because she follows and watches but leaves before collecting payment. The other tax collector only accepts payments in butter. The butter tax is brutal and applies to all who visit the house.

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