Eric is doing good, having had a couple of restful days in a row, something his body sorely needs in order to begin to heal itself. I am continually surprised by his resilience to everything thrown at him. Not only is his breathing good, he responded to tests designed to detect sensation in his appendages. They are called pain tests, and the object is to have the foot or hand pull away from pressing lightly against a nerve in the finger or toes. Both hands and both feet pulled away. I get a little more hopeful each day. He’s strong, that one is.
I got to speak to him on the phone this morning. The nurse called me, saying he wanted to hear my voice. I spoke and he listened because he can’t really vocalize around the trach as of yet. I can’t wait to hear his voice again, clear of tubes and pain.
2013 did not end the way I wanted it too. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But rather than focus on just that, I have to remember that while it ended terribly, the first 11 1/2 months were the best of my life. Even though the last few weeks have been dark, I have found that not only is Eric the strongest man I know, I have the best of friends who have our backs no matter what. And it turns out that while I may crack, I will not be broken.
2014 is going to be tough, but you know what? Fuck it. Bring it on. I can take it.
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.