Things I’ve Learned While At Yaoi-Con…

Things I’ve Learned While At Yaoi-Con…

1. I should sleep more, drink less coffee and have NO sugar. Even the wee little bit of sugar I had was too much. When I’ve ingested too much sugar, my brain goes places no one should really go.

That being said, Amy Lane will be writing a book about gay students filming a horror serial killer film…. Or a porn parodying a serial killer. With ducks. Or duck face.

2. There should only be one book written about a gay were-walrus and his zombie unicorn lover. This union produces narwhals. This rule applies to other combos too. Use caution when approaching the vehicle.

3. My brain needs a shut off valve or at least a channel to disconnect my mouth from my brain when I’ve had no sleep and a wee bit of sugar.

4. I need to learn to go to sleep while time is still in double digits and perhaps let the hour hand sweep at LEAST to across the clock face before waking up. Not doing so leads to number 3.

5. Alex Woolfson fucking rocks and I got to tell him so. Read his stuff. He is fricking fantastic. ARTIFICE

6. Certain things are not the new black despite what Amy Lane thinks. Mary Calmes and I both agree on that point.

7. I am useless for most things but I can:

  • Massage my fellow authors, including adjusting their backs
  • Tetris pack a box of swag so more fits into it
  • Bring minions along who got me more coffee… thus leading to number 3 but I needed it very badly
  • If you have a hot young man who is portraying a character from Jo Chen’s Guilty Pleasures around, I can and am willing to assist him in arranging his hair then go back to massaging Amy’s sore back spot with hairspray and hot boy love still on my hands.
  • I can show someone… say like Shira Anthony… how to fluff their boobies so they rise nicely in a bodice.

8. My books sold out at Yaoi Con. No thanks to me and full fricking credit to the lovely ladies who hawked my shit like it was a one legged hooker during a Maypole Dancer convention.

9. Reno, the very pretty bishie from last year, went for over 800 dollars and shouted down from the escalator at me in joy. I congratulated him and cheered him on.

10. I have very adorable minions. Seriously, Hoshi, Bi and Ren are simply adorable.

11. Nessa L. Warin, Shira Anthony, Lori Hawkins, EM Lynley and Venona Keyes probably all agree that I should probably have more sleep and less coffee. You all were very patient with me and thank you. Amy and Mary, you contributed to my ongoing crazy and well, reap what is sown. *grins*

12. I should not be let out in public.

13. Amy needs to learn how far eight blocks is. Especially when sending TheAngryRat out to grab food. *grins*

That being said, I leave for GRL on Thursday. Gotta figure out how to get the swag to the hotel but I think I’m going to Ninja it. I’ll probably write up a more coherent post later.

Said Hot Young Man who let us ogle him. He also was very generous will displaying his butt for us, even returning to give Shira a zealous pick me up. And now, I’m going to bed before I break that double digits rule.

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Alexandra
    Oct 14, 2012 @ 23:56:38

    You were w/ Mary Calmes???? DAMN! DAMN!! She’s like one of my all time favorite authors…huhuhuh!!! *cries hysterically* My life sucks! Ok, ok, a bit dramatic but I love her!! Glad you had a great time and probably best to be off the sugar thingie. LOL. ;)

    • Rhys Ford
      Oct 15, 2012 @ 14:56:09

      Oh, Mary’s very sweet. We had a good time. I’m from Hawai’i. She lived in Hawai’i. And well, Amy’s fun to tease.

      • Alexandra
        Oct 16, 2012 @ 08:01:38

        She’s very nice and generous..I won a copy of her book “Acrobat” a couple of months ago, I think. One of my favorites. LOL.

        Ahhhh…..ok, well, I live where she went to school…across the street, in fact. Anyway, I’m glad and happy your book sold out…CONGRATULATIONS!! :) So, do you have anything coming out soon? I’ve not check. :)

    • Rhys Ford
      Oct 16, 2012 @ 10:34:58

      We had a lot of fun. Or at least I did and I’m deluded that they did too. *grins*

      Yes, I have Sinner’s Gin coming out in December. I’ll be posting more details after GRL :D

  2. Jess
    Oct 15, 2012 @ 01:17:55

    You are a rockstar :D

  3. Shira Anthony
    Oct 15, 2012 @ 07:26:57

    I missed out on the massage (will hit you up at GRL, girl!). The girls are appropriately fluffed. Pumped for my tat, thanks to you! See ya soon!

  4. Patricia Grayson
    Oct 15, 2012 @ 09:01:26

    A little ogling goes a long way. Keeps those sleepy eyes open, Rhys. The uniform — was it real or for play-acting?

    Narwhales? I will not be able to get the image out of my mind, a lusty, bewhiskered walrus locked in an embrace with a pointy-horned unicorn. Let’s not and say we did.

    • Rhys Ford
      Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:00:11

      He was hired to represent the artist’s characters. Very sweet guy and very adaptable. He was convinced to arrest a cross-dressing Japanese maid for the crowd. Turned bright red when it was done and everyone cheered. He asked me if he needed to kiss the guy and I said no, not unless the maid gave him money. I was walking up on the scene at the time it was over.

  5. ruslana
    Oct 15, 2012 @ 09:50:29

    Is the hot cop real????? Looks like a boy I knew in HS. FYI, the cutes cops are posted in Times Square. I hate walking through it, not a lot of locals do, but the cops are hot!

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